Perfect

                                    

                                          
Seokjin stood across from me, wiping his hands on a small towel that he tucked into the waist of his apron. He looked down as if I were supposed to speak first though he was the one who knocked, piping up when I raised my brows in silent question. 
"I wanted to check on you." He revealed, providing more explanation than necessary. "You seemed upset and I thought you might want somewhere more relaxing. I know it's been a while, but I'm sure the holidays are still tough without your mom."
"I'm okay. I wanted to give my friend Faye a call." I replied, stepping past him and into the hallway before remembering the heat creeping up my neck. 
Despite the house holding few photos, you couldn't turn the corner without facing a mirror. I took the opportunity to pull my hair through the elastic on my wrist a few times, pressing my fingers into my too pink cheeks while Seokjin watched from the doorway. 
He nodded. "Well if you need to get away for a few minutes the house is yours to roam. I'm not really great at hosting. Usually people want a tour but I feel like a douchebag offering one." 
"She'd be scolding you about needing to decorate this place for the holiday." I giggled, the image of her in my mind still clear. "My mom I mean."
"I never know where to start with that stuff. My housekeeper came by last week and had me dig out the tree to put up. It looks nice but I keep forgetting to plug it in." He shrugged. 
"Show me." I turned to him, his hand held out to direct me in the opposite direction. 
The house grew cooler as we got farther from the kitchen, passing an open office and two more closed doors before reaching a sitting room at one end of the house. A small amount of light cast through the barely cracked blinds and open entryway, the rest covered in shadows that provided silhouettes to more unused and spotless furniture. 
I drew the blinds so that they rose, shining more light on the ten-foot tree that was perfectly placed to view from outside. It was filled with shiny and glittery balls in hues of blue, frilly ribbon draping from the peak to the floor with a silver star that surely required a ladder to place. 
While I admired the tree, Seokjin moved to the back to find the plug and outlet, bringing it further to life with tiny white lights that weaved through every branch. 
"Where's your family?" I wondered, my mouth getting ahead of my brain. I never heard him talk about his family, every mention of people in his life those who provided services. 
His casual answer assured me that I hadn't been too invasive. "Back in Gangnam. Everyone's really involved in the family business and they're satisfied as long as I'm out here getting the best treatment possible." The slight bite behind his last words told me that there was some bitterness behind the arrangement. He opened his mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by the sound of my dad's voice from up the hall. 
"Kids, where'd you get off to?" He called out, Seokjin and I chuckling at the impression of him speaking like we were young children.
We headed back toward the kitchen side by side, a satisfied look in my dad's eye at seeing us together. "Seline wanted to see the Christmas tree." Seokjin replied, flushing and holding his hands behind his back as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't. "Let me get started on dessert and we'll eat." He clapped his hands together once, moving back into the kitchen to give a stir to the food set in warmers. 
"Sellie, can you still make your mom's sweet potato pie recipe?" My dad spoke loud enough so that Seokjin could hear, his eyes darting toward me with intrigue. 
"I could never get it quite the same as hers but it's really close." I answered. 
He turned around so that he faced Seokjin, heading into the kitchen and switching his gaze back and forth between us with his suggestion. "If Jin has all the ingredients around here maybe we can have that. It's been so long." He patted his stomach at the thought of his favorite sweet. 
Seokjin led me to a pantry organized by food group, enough seasonings, grains, and ingredients to rival a small grocer's stock. He reached into a bin filled with sweet potatoes while I ventured to the shelves lined with spices. 
"Will these be enough?" He questioned, balancing four potatoes in his hands. 
"Three should work." I replied, pulling down a container of brown sugar to tuck into my arm before going to grab the rest of the items I needed from the refrigerator. 
Sweet potatoes thunked onto the counter in a pile and Seokjin returned to the pantry while I rummaged for eggs, butter and heavy cream, making due without the ground cloves the recipe called for.
"I grabbed a premade crust but we can make one by hand if you prefer." Seokjin noted from the doorway, waiting for my reply in case he needed to gather more ingredients.
"Premade is fine. It'll be quicker that way." I glanced at the slew of cabinets in the unfamiliar kitchen. "Can you grab me another pot if you have it, a medium-sized bowl, and a mixer?" 
My dad busied himself with setting the dining room table and transporting dinner to be served, leaving Seokjin and I in the kitchen alone. He reached onto high shelves to retrieve everything I needed, taking the initiative to fill the pot with water before placing it on the stove for the potatoes to boil.
I peeled sweet potatoes, Seokjin showing my dad where the utensils were and excusing himself to wash up before dinner after cooking all day. When he disappeared down the hallway again I sighed with relief, pouring myself a second glass of wine without shame. 
By the time he returned I'd downed my drink and was transferring potatoes into the bowl he provided, watching as he dabbed at a brownish stain on the edge of his sweater with a damp cloth. I eyed the spice measurements based on memories that were too far away, combining every ingredient so that it was ready to blend. There was a small splatter as I lowered the hand mixer into the bowl a little too quickly, making me flinch away from the counter to avoid getting my clothes dirty. I turned down the setting so that the mixing was slower, shifting with even more surprise when I felt two hands at my waist.
"Sorry, I should have given you this earlier." Seokjin secured the apron he'd been wearing around me, tugging at the strings so that they tied into a bow. I knew that he took the action without thought so that I wouldn't have to stop cooking, but the contact made me halt any movement. 
He seemed completely unfazed, brushing his hands against each other and two steps away before I regained the will to continue. 
The tension in my shoulders grew with every passing second in his home and around him, so I urged him to go ahead to the dining room while I finished up. He refused, pittering away with handling every dirty dish that I set to the side until the pie was in the oven and dinner was served. 
In the middle of perfect, with a perfectly cooked roast and short ribs that fell off the bone, with my dad's perfect toast to the holiday and Seokjin's perfect everything, my mind trailed to the one thing that wasn't perfect. Amid perfection, I remained trapped in the thought that such perfection could end by the multiplication of tiny cells that threatened the lives of the two men who's friendship could be described as the same.