Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire

                                    

                                          
It's been a year (off by two days) since I last published a fic here. So, Merry Christmas. 
🎄
"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire-"Joel sang.
"These aren't chestnuts,"Ben objected. 
"... marshmallows roasting on an open fire..."
"Have you ever even roasted chestnuts?"Ben asked. 
"No-o-o-o,"Joel sang, still in tune with "The Christmas Song". 
"We should,"Vince said. 
"Aafeed,"Mod agreed, his mouth full of toasted marshmallow.
Vince pulled out his phone and called David Smallbone. 
"Bring us some chestnuts,"he said. 
"What am I, a delivery boy?"David retorted. 
"Don't make me bring up Europe!"Vince threatened. "That was a human rights crime."
There was silence. Vince hung up. 
Twenty minutes later, David showed up with chestnuts. 
"You're dead to me,"he said. 
"That's fine, old man,"Ben said, taking the bag. 
They took the shells off and placed the chestnuts over the open fire.
Joel started singing again. 
"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..."
And then pop! 
"Ahhhh!"Mod shrieked. 
"It's okay,"Vince comforted him."The chestnut just popped."
More popping sounds followed. 
"What is this, popcorn?"Ben snarked. 
Vince stirred the chestnuts, then took it off the fire. 
"What do we eat chestnuts with?"Ben mused. 
"Good question,"Joel said. 
"We have cheese and whipped cream,"Vince offered. 
"What kind of cheese?"
"Gruyere, Mozzarella, and Raclette."
"I thought we had some Asiago, as well,"Ben said. 
"It finished yesterday.
"We can melt the cheese over the fire and toss the chestnuts in,"Vince decided. 
"What about the whipped cream?"Joel asked. 
"Just spray it on top of your food, you spelling bee finalist,"Vince snapped. 
"What does that mean?"
"What does what mean?"
"Spelling bee finalist."
"It means you-"
"What did you mean when you called me a spelling bee finalist?"
"It means you have the personality of a spelling bee finalist!"
"Guys!"Ben interrupted.
They melted the cheese. 
Joel, like the spelling bee finalist he was (not), sprayed a sacrilegious amount of whipped cream on top. 
"It's so good?"Ben said. 
"I hate chestnuts,"Vince said. 
"I'm gonna name my third child whipped cream,"Joel moaned.
"No mention of children,"Vince snapped, swinging his fork at Joel. 
"Or moaning,"Ben added. 
"You never let me have fun,"Joel complained. 
"We're literally watching you eat whipped cream on top of melty cheese and roasted chestnuts,"Vince argued. 
Joel ceded the point. 
"Now what?"Ben asked. 
"Now we turn on a movie, lay on the floor, and die,"Vince responded. 
So they did. 
Joel puked the next morning. 
Turns out, whipped cream   cheese did not work out well for him.