Warmth spreads through my body as I snuggle deeper into my covers. I'm wide awake, listening to the silence of the house. For some reason, I don't want to get out of my hovel, my haven, whatever you want to call it. Too many things have happened over the past twelve days, and I just want today to be normal.
But it's not a normal day, is it? As I count through the days, I realize that today is special. Christmas is here, and I'm not ready for it. A bolt of terror runs through my veins when I remember the fateful day years ago when Grandma, Hartley, and I got the news about my cancer. I'm not sure why they decided to tell us on Christmas Day, but they did, and the rest is history. At least we got to celebrate Christmas before getting my first treatment.
I snuggle closer to my pillows, wrapping my blankets tighter around my shoulders. Tears prick my eyes as the memories of the past few years work their way into my mind. All of my treatments, how sick I got, and the fear that I wasn't going to make it flood through my body. Sobs rack my body, but I manage to swallow them, trying not to make a noise in case Hartley and Grandma are out in the rest of the house.
Those years were the worst years of my life. I felt so alone because Hartley didn't know what I was going through and Grandma didn't know how to comfort me. I had to survive by myself. What if that wasn't the case, though? I've been the same ever since I was little; I thought that pushing people away would help me and them in the long run. Maybe that's what I did then, and it's definitely what I'm doing now. But it doesn't change the fact that they still didn't know what to do with me when I was so sick.
I think Hartley is afraid she's going to lose me. That could be a reason why she helped Jake with figuring out what to do for my twelve days of Christmas gifts. She wants to make sure that I'm going to still be here for the rest of our lives, and that I will actually stay in her life. She's my sister; I never want to cut her out of my life, even if we do have our differences.
Now, my friends and sister are not talking to me. I didn't like the surprises they had in store for me, and because of my feelings, I pushed them away. It's not fair to them that I pushed them away, but it's how I've lived my life for so long. I'm not sure if they will come back to me after all of this. I'm not even sure if Jake is going to finish the twelve days of Christmas gifts today. Secretly, I hope he does.
Sighing to myself, I turn over in my bed, staring at the two turtles sitting in their large cage I bought from the pet store. They're quiet, almost like they're sleeping, and the soft sunlight glints off of their polished shells. I haven't named them yet, and I don't even know if I want to keep them. The two of them are cute, and Jake gave them to me, so maybe I should. I don't know anymore.
And then Hartley is rushing through the door, an excited look on her face. She's wearing a large, yellow winter jacket, and her shoulders are dusted in white powder. I frown, sitting up in my bed. "What's going on?" I ask, blinking up at my older sister.
"You have to come outside," she says, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the bed. I nearly fall on the floor, but I manage to catch myself. Glaring at her, I wish she hadn't come in here. She doesn't falter, though. "Your final gift is outside."
YOU ARE READING
Hoping For Snow (Jake Madden)
FanfictionHaven never expected to start receiving gifts twelve days before Christmas. They seemed to appear out of nowhere right when she needed them most. She wanted to figure out who was sending her these gifts, but the notes left with them didn't give anyt...