Day ∞ | Crave

                                    

                                          
As we leave Nameless's home I feel a sickening feeling like I shouldn't. This area she lives in isn't safe. I know that she's spent weeks, months, living here perfectly fine. But what if me showing up here changes things. I don't want to stray to far away. I need to protect her the best that I can. 
As Nick, George and I load up into the car I stop Nick from pulling away. "I don't want to go home. I need to be close." 
"I'm not sitting in this car all night waiting to see if she wants you back dude." Nick reasons with me. More like tells me I'm fucking insane.
"Then drop me off at a hotel close by. Nick I can't and won't leave her here. If I leave what if that's showing I'm giving up? That's just not happening." I fight for what I want. But Nick begins pulling away without saying a word in response. It's quite clear I'm not getting my way and Nick immediately gets on the highway to head home. 
"She knows you love her dude." George for once doesn't take a sarcastic route for comfort. 
I don't respond. I stare out the window watching headlights pass us by on the long journey home. About half way home my phone buzzes with a text. When I glance down and read her name across the screen, I feel my heart literally drop. 
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iMessage
Apple: I think this might make your night a little easier. I do love you Clay. 
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Attached along is a video. It's clear that she had been going through her phone since the moment we left. She has a big life decision to wrap her head around. I don't know if going to her past was really going to help her, but for my sake I hope it did. 
The video is a cute moment. It plays aloud in the car and Nick and George ignore it. They probably assume that I've been going through my videos, tainting my own mind even further. But I haven't done so. And I don't want to share that she's messaged me. I want this moment to just be with us. 
I feel like these days we don't get that often. Everything is so plastered everywhere. There is no intimate moments. All moments and memories and photos and videos are shared. We keep nothing private. I wanted this interaction private. Just me and her, no one else. 
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iMessage
Clay: We look so young. Less stressed and carefree. I miss that with you. Come back to me? I love you
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I read my response what feels like a hundred times before actually sending the message through. Hell, I even rewrite it a hundred times before sending it as well. The message couldn't be too much, but it also couldn't be not enough. I was playing a tricky battle. 
As much as I want another message back I don't get one. I know that she asked for space and she was taking that time for herself. That didn't mean I didn't miss that feeling that message gave me though. I craved it.
She made me feel again. Despite the long and grueling wait for her to reach out again, I felt happier. My friends could tell. Apparently I have a happy aura now. I'm inviting in good vibes now. Who would have known a still broken man could feel a little happier. 
I actually spend time with my friend's while I wait for her name to appear again.  I divulge myself in my work because I could get her and I want to hold onto that happiness as much as humanly possible. 
It feels nice to have more people around. It's not just Nick and George. It's Karl and Q. It's Foolish and Punz. It's even sitting in calls with Tommy and Wilbur planning random lore ideas. There's so much keeping my brain occupied that a part of me kind of wishes this is what I did after losing her instead of what I ended up doing. This would have been way more helpful. 
Then again if I did this, maybe I wouldn't have run to her. Maybe she would have married that Lake fellow and I would have lost her forever. I don't want to change a thing. I'm happy where things are now. 
As I sit in a call with Foolish, watching him stream some god awful game, my phone lights up with her name. Except, it's not a text, it's a call. The last thing I actually expected. My heart starts beating out of my chest and I begin to panic. 
"Brb Foosh." I quickly say with nerves hanging on my words. 
I mute myself and answer her incoming call. "Hey." I try and say calmly but honestly, I have no idea if it comes out calm. Honestly, definitely didn't. 
"I've done some thinking." She says softly. Almost as if she's in bed for the night. I look at the time, and yeah she's definitely in bed. 
"Yes my tired girl." I say out of habit. She wasn't my girl. At least not yet. 
"I'm hesitantly letting us try again." She says softly, a yawn following her words. I can't stop myself from closing my eyes and picturing how beautiful she must look all curled up in bed. I wonder what she's wearing. I wonder if she's laced herself up in my clothes. 
"Are you pulling my finger?" I sit up fast. My heart feels like it's beating out of my chest. 
"Sir, I can't pull your finger when you're around an hour away." She giggles a sleepy giggle. God she's melting my soul right now. 
I have to let her giggles sink in before I speak. The cats got my tongue right now and I have no will to speak. She's little taking all my senses away. She hasn't made me feel this way in ages. 
"Clayyy..." she drags out my name trying to get my attention. She needs me, wants me. 
"Yes my love?" I respond wishing I was curled up with her in my arms. 
"Will you hurt me?" I can't tell by the tone of her voice she's pouting. I can't handle this. I need to get in Nick's car and rush to her. I need to hold her while she sleeps. 
"Never again." I respond respectfully. "Would you like me to show you that?" I ask hoping she'll say yes. Hoping that I can convince her to let me come over and hold her tight. 
"No, no." she shifts in her bed. I can tell by the shuffling coming through the line. "I'm going night night."
"Don't go." I whisper in defeat. She doesn't respond. The line doesn't go dead. She's silent on the other end, probably lost in the land of sleep. 
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gosh, i love this moment at the end with nameless and clay. anyone else in their feels? no? just me.... oh.. okay. xD
i hope you enjoyed seeing story that kind of sways off book two. its nice to not copy and paste!
anyways, hope you all have a good day! make sure to comment and vote!
much love, ashley <3