CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

                                    

                                          
I AM IN A HURRY
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Something collided into him with great force, almost knocking him on his ass and out of instinct, his arms wrapped around the person's waist. At first he was going to yell at whoever tried to tackle him to the ground without provocation, but then a familiar cold minty scent mixed with roses - a very peculiar scent that could only belong to one person.
"Sorry, I wasn't-" Seraphina trailed off when she realised who he was. Her sparkling blue eyes widened in shock and she was frozen in his arms.
It was the first time she had been so close to him in what felt like an eternity. Going from seeing and talking to her every day to only seeing her at distance every once and a while was more difficult than he ever could have imagined.
"Sirius, I-" Sera started to say and then she cut herself off mid-sentence, realising how close they were, and practically shoved him away while stepping backwards. Sirius blinked, it was like his brain had stopped working. Like it had forgotten how to act around her. "Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going."
He opened his mouth to answer but then, all he could see was the crimson blood that came out of her nose. "You are bleeding," he murmured.
Seraphina reached up to her nose and her finger wiped away some blood and then she looked down at it and hissed, "I am going to kill him."
"Who is him?" James asked and Sirius was then reminded that they weren't alone and that all of his friends had been standing behind him all this time.
"Uh, no one," Seraphina said dismissively. "You know I get nosebleeds easily - especially in the cold. I have to go."
She tried to push past Sirius but he grabbed her arm, "Wait-"
"I am in a hurry," Seraphina tried to excuse herself.  
"Please don't run away from us," Remus pleaded. He had been rather down since Seraphina stopped talking to them - much like the rest of them. 
"I am not running away, I just have to run," Seraphina told them. "Busy times. I have lots of Christmas shopping to do."
"I've been meaning to ask you," James said when he noticed how Seraphina tried to escape again, "my mum wonders if you will be joining us for Christmas this year." 
Needless to say that James had not mentioned to his mother how Seraphina had distanced herself from them. Mrs. and Mr. Potter had come to see Seraphina as part of the family during the years she had been friends with James, and Sirius knew his best friend loved her like a little sister.
"Uh," Seraphina said, seemingly growing uncomfortable, "that's very nice of her. But I already have plans."
"Are you going home for the holidays?" Remus wondered.
"I have someone else to spend Christmas with, yes," Seraphina told them. "But do send my thanks to your mother for inviting me. And have a Happy Christmas - all of you." With that she brushed past them, eyes downcast.
Sirius turned to watch her walk away, his eyes following her retreating figure until it disappeared behind one of the houses. Everything in his body was screaming at him to follow her, but he found it near impossible to move. All he could do was watch her walk away.
"Why does it feel like we have lost her forever?" James asked, a deep frown on his face. Sirius had never seen his friend looking so bummed; not even the countless times Lily had rejected him. The situation was completely different, but this seemed to hit him harder. 
"No, we haven't," Sirius insisted firmly, trying to convince himself more than the others. He couldn't have lost her. It just wasn't possible. He started walking in the direction Seraphina had run off in. To be honest, he did not really have a plan; he didn't know if he was chasing after her to speak with her or just to make sure she was safe.
However, before he could get far his path was blocked by a Ravenclaw girl that he vaguely recognised. "Sirius, it's so weird running into you here," the girl said, a wide smile on her face.
"More than half the school is here," Sirius said, not really in the mood to flirt. 
She laughed and placed a hand on his arm, "That's so true-"
"I am sorry, I really don't have time for this," Sirius told her, sending an apologetic smile because he wasn't a complete arsehole before he left her standing there. But it was too late because Seraphina had already disappeared.
It made him wonder how everything could go so wrong. This summer Sirius had the hope that he and Sera might be able to become something more than friends. He recalled their last Christmas - their first kiss underneath the mistletoe at the Potter Manor. 
It was at that moment he realised that he was completely screwed because despite having kissed quite a few girls before, kissing Seraphina had changed things. In that moment, every other kiss he had experienced felt dull in comparison.
Sirius Black was known for his charms and he definitely wasn't unused to the advances of girls, but in that moment he was about as smooth as Remus. After Seraphina ran away that night, he stood in that hallway for minutes, just staring at the spot she had vacated.
Afterwards, when Seraphina made it clear she wanted to pretend nothing had happened, Sirius had tried to move on. But being with other girls just didn't feel the same anymore. At first he tried to get Seraphina out of his head by snogging every girl that threw himself on him. When that didn't work he thought he'd be able to make Sera jealous. However, he quickly realised that Seraphina wasn't the kind of person that showed her jealousy. No, she'd never admit to being jealous. Unlike him, she didn't have much of an outward reaction.
But deep inside, Sirius knew she felt the same; that she had some feelings for him. If she didn't she would have pushed him away when he kissed her. She would have told him that she didn't want to be together instead of that they couldn't.
But now he truly did fear that he had lost her forever.