so much wine

                                    

                                          

{"I got out and stared up at the stars.
And as meteors died
Shot across the sky
I thought about your sad shining eyes"}
★LORELAI★
May 17th
1997
My eyes slowly blink open, my mind not being able to register my surroundings. 
It's practically pitch black, and cold. My back aches and my head hurts. The sounds of the city fills my ears, and when I open my eyes fully, I realize where I am.
The roof. 
I have no idea how I fell asleep on the cold concrete, but I did. I'm not sure what time it is, but it must be hours later because the sun has fully set, and the stars are out. 
The panic has washed over me, now just a lingering thought. I sit up, letting my arms rest on my knees. I stare out at the city and up at the stars, feeling content with the decision I came to while I was sleeping.
I decided that it's way too fucking early in our relationship to be worrying about it. It's okay if I don't love Leo right now, and it's okay if I do. I'm fairly certain I was just spiraling, and that I don't actually love him though. At least not yet. 
I stare up at the sky, deciding I might as well count the stars while I'm up here. 
49
50
51
I search the whole black sky for that one bright star, the one that outshines the rest. 
I  finally spot it, a bit further off than it usually is. It flickers in the sky, almost like a dying lightbulb. The thought of that star dying and becoming a black hole, saddens me. For some crazy reason, I've found myself really attached to that certain star. 
I guess I could say I love that star.
I laugh out loud at my own internal thoughts. 
Too soon? 


★HARRY★
May 17th
1997 

I'm stopped dead in my tracks, the smile that once rested on my face is wiped clean. My body feels cold, and numb, my head buzzing with millions of different emotions and thoughts. My hands hurt from how tightly I'm clenching my fists, my jaw clamped together. I can feel the lump in my throat growing at an alarming rate, but I won't let it burst. My eyes feel as though there's a pressure behind them, begging me to blink. 
But I can't. 
I can't blink because if I close my eyes and reopen them, and this is still my reality, I don't know how I would deal with it. If I blink a tear may fall, and I won't let myself cry right now. If I blink something might change, and for some reason I find myself needing to remember every detail. If I blink, I might be plagued with this image behind my eyelids. If I blink I might miss some crucial information. 
Perhaps I blinked too much in the past weeks. 
That's the only excuse that makes sense for how I missed this. 
Lying in my bed, Caroline covers her naked body with my sheets. Her eyes are wide, and I'm slightly concerned that they may pop right out of her head. It looks as if she is trying to speak to me, but the ringing in my ears blocks her out. 
Standing next to my bed, frantically throwing on articles of clothing, a man I've never seen before. The man that was, just moments ago, lying peacefully in my bed with my girlfriend. He doesn't look up from the floor, his hands shaky as he throws on his t-shirt.