M < why didn't you tell me anything?> I only ask, with everything still so confused.  
 K < because I'm just a whore. It's in my nature to suffer and be alone, no? You told me a million times to let go this life and I never wanted to...>
 M < yeah, but I haven't ever judged you, you know that...>
 K < yes, I know, but you would have made me feel more lonely and more envious, because after comforting me you still would have returned to Carina...> I look at her and I don't know what to say. < I swear I don't want anything with you, I don't love you in a romantic way. If I think about what you have between your legs, then yes, I could, but really, I'm not in love with you. I swear...> I nod and now that I look at her eyes, I know I can trust her.  
 M < how do you match all these stuff with a baby?> I ask.  
 K < I've been selfish. Maybe I will never stop to feel so lonely, but at least I will always have one person that depends on me, who is tied to me.. >
 M < what about Pierre?> I ask, smirking.  
 K < I never cheat on him. It's a client. He is a fool that remembers me of you..> I laugh.
 M < oh, thanks, I guess!> and she laughs too.  
 K < he is alone, without a friend, with an alcoholic mother, but he is a genius. He studies thanks to a scholarship and thanks to two cents he earns, playing clarinet on the streets...>
 M < and is he your client?> she nods.
 K < yes. He was virgin when came to me...> she smirks and I raise an eyebrow.
 M < is he better than me?> I joke.
 K < oh, no, my love, never!> she jokes, even if at this point I will never know how much she jokes and how much she is telling truth.
 M < and does he know everything?> she nods.  
 K < yes. He knows everything, but he doesn't want anything. Even if one day he would love to meet his son, for me it'll be okay. We are quite friends.. he comes, he does what have to, he pays me and then we take a drink together, we chat... so we are quite friends..>  
 M < why not a relationship?> Katia shrugs.  
 K < I and love cannot be in good terms..> she smiles at me with sadness and I decide to let go: for today I think I have gained enough confessions.  
 At a certain point, with the coffees now finished for a long time, after telling me the truth she collapsed into a tearful cry that I do not know even now how to stop and that I do not know how to justify. Between one sob and another she just told me that it is all the tension she had accumulated for not knowing how to tell me everything. So, I took her to Carina's house and we are on the couch, with Katia hugging me tightly, while we think, or rather fantasize, together about a possible future.
 Katia would like to raise this child alone, of course, in Paris and all my suggestions to try to dialogue honestly, as she did with me, even with this Pierre were rejected. I think that deep down it could be good for her once in life to indulge in an emotion other than orgasmic pleasure, but Katia continues to deny. Likewise, my proposals to return to live in Italy fall on deaf ears several times, as do those of finally changing life. At each of my proposals Katia cries a little more and only says that she will think about it later. I keep incessantly in my head thinking about ways to stop making her cry, until I remember a conversation I had with Carina, one of the very rare times we talk about her pregnancy, during which she told me that she spent weeks crying, for no apparent reason, blaming hormones. I relax then and let myself go on the couch.