. 25

                                    

                                          

My conversation with Price goes as follows,
"You feeling any better, LT?" Price had asked me.
"I'm hanging in there, Captain."
"There's a lot of things needed to be said right now, and i don't want anything i say to be taken badly." I remember him pausing before talking again. 
"I have a lot of respect for you, y/n. Which is why this is so hard for me to do."
"Just give me the bad news, Cap."
"I think you should go home and take a break from 141."
What Price meant was that i had failed miserably. I had left, injured, and disappointing everyone. Nothing like that had ever happened before, not with me. 
Ghost and Soap left Mexico, leaving Alejandro and Rodolfo in Las Alma's to deal with Valeria. I, was now headed back home. No longer part of the mission. No longer actively apart of 141. 
Soap gave me a nice goodbye, telling me he'd see me soon, and that he knew i'd be right back on my feet to be out fighting with him again, but i'm too sure how accurate that'll turn out to be. 
Alejandro said goodbye too, making sure to remind me of my nickname hermosa and giving me a kiss on my hand. He was always a gentleman, i knew i'd miss him.
And for Ghost, i didn't see him after our talk. He and Soap left on their plane to Chicago, going to stop the last missile. I don't know i'd ever see him again.
I was put on a small plane, equipped with a nurse to take care of me while i flew back home. It all felt unreal. I was numb. Emotionless, but yet full of every emotion you could think of.
I couldn't help but think that if i hadn't of gotten involved with Ghost, this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if i had just realized he wasn't someone you could get too close you, i wouldn't be here right now. Because it's true, the Ghost wasn't someone i could turn into a friend, or a secret lover. It wasn't possible. 
I'll never know the truth behind him, or what made him who he is. I'll never get that chance, and i'll never get to remake my decisions that could've led to that.
The Ghost changed my life, but not in a good way. He changed me, and he broke me. Maybe it was mainly my fault, but i'll never know that for certain. I'll never know what could've been, and i'll never know if i'll see him again. 
-
I'm sorry. 
😭😭😭