Convince Me

                                    

                                          
Beca slept on the couch last night. She was too afraid to see Chloe if she went to their room. She didn't really sleep though, because Chloe's words kept her up all night.
Chloe was in and out of sleep most of the night for the same reason. She couldn't believe she let herself confess that, and she also couldn't believe Beca's reaction. The conversation replayed in her head over and over again.
Beca had thought she heard Chloe leave the house, so she went up to their room to get ready. To her surprise, Chloe was sitting at her desk when she walked in.
"Oh. Sorry I thought you left." Beca said awkwardly.
"So you're avoiding me?" Chloe knew she was avoiding Beca too, but it still hurt.
"No... I don't know Chlo. I'm just confused."
"I know, and I shouldn't blame you for that. What I said was kind of a lot. So I get it."
"You do?"
"Yeah of course Bec. If you can get past it so can I." Chloe knew she couldn't get past it. She was terrified of things not being the same between them.
"Friends?" Beca smiled.
"Friends." Chloe forced a smile.
The rest of the day was awkward between them, even though they agreed it wouldn't be. Beca thought she crushed Chloe with the rejection, and Chloe thought she made things irreversibly weird between them. Neither girl was going to get past that confession as fast as they said.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A week had gone by, and their friendship hadn't been the same. Chloe couldn't take the awkwardness anymore, so she decided to go all in. Either she was going to be with Beca, or they were going to stop trying to pretend it isn't weird. Chloe knew this meant they could stop being close friends, but she was willing to take the risk.
Thursday evening, the girls were sitting in their room not talking. Beca was working on some music with her headphones in while Chloe just laid in bed.
"Beca?"
Beca looked over and took off her headphones.
"Hm?"
"Beca I need to talk to you."
"What's up, Chlo?" Beca was oblivious to where Chloe was going with this.
"It's about us. We both know this past week has been really weird. I'm scared it's gonna keep being like this if we don't talk. So please, just talk to me."
"Yeah ok, you're right."
Chloe was shocked at how easy Beca complied. 
"So uh. What I said the other night... About liking you more than a friend. That's still true."
Beca didn't say anything. She knew if she didn't that Chloe would explain.
"I'm all in Beca. If you don't feel the same way about me it's fine and I get it. But I don't think I can keep being your friend if all I can think about is being your girlfriend. I've been trying to convince myself we're not meant to be, but I can't. I need you to tell me if you're in or not Beca."
"I... I can't Chloe. I love you, I do, just not like that. I'm sorry." Beca hated saying those words.
"No I'm sorry. I should have told you from the very beginning. Maybe then we wouldn't have gotten so close and this wouldn't be as hard." Chloe was once again convincing herself they never had anything.
"Chloe you're the best thing that's happened to me since Barden. I wouldn't have any of the friends I do now, including you." Beca was trying her best to save this.
"I'm just really sorry it has to be like this."
"It doesn't need to, Chlo. We can stay friends and forget about this." She wanted to be loved so bad. She needed Chloe's love.
"I can't forget Bec. I'm sorry." Chloe slid under her covers trying to end the conversation.
"So that's it?"
"I don't know. Until I can get over this feeling."
Beca let her words linger. She needed a moment of silence. 
After a minute or two, Chloe had settled into bed. Beca turned off her desk lamp and decided to try and sleep too. 
"Chlo?" Beca whispered.
"Yes?"
"Will you come over here? I can't sleep." Beca knew she always slept soundly next to Chloe.
Chloe got up and snuggled in with Beca.
"Night, Beale." 
The girls drifted off to sleep, content with their cuddled position. Neither wanted to see the sun come up and potentially let go of this forever.