30. Lando

                                    

                                          
I can't believe I managed to finish 5th in the Australian Grand Prix. There's only one person I would want to spend it with, but it turns out she's just like any other person. She's just gonna leave me whenever things get too hard. 
I make my way to the private jet I'm taking with Charles, Charlotte, Max, Daniel, Yuki, Pierre and George, Carmen, Isa and Carlos. 
Surprise written on most of the faces as I enter the plane alone. I haven't told anyone about the falling out Jona and I had. But I know Daniel must've guessed, as Jona had to be around him for quite some time yesterday. 
"Where's Jona?"Charlotte immediately asks as I've put my bag below a chair. 
"Flying home with the team." I tell her, not really wanting to elaborate on it. Charlotte seems to get the hint and she turns to Isa to continue whatever conversation they had. 
I don't really feel like socialising, so I put my headphones on and settling on a movie. 
I get woken up by someone taking the seat next to me on the plane. Turns out I fell asleep sometime during the movie. I take my headphones off. 
"What happened?" Daniel asks carefully. 
"I don't want to talk about it." I tell him, putting my headphones back on and turning to the movie. Searching for the point I fell asleep at. 
"Lando, just talk." He says holding one of my headphones away from my ear to talk to me. "We're all here for you." 
I sigh, knowing very well that we have a few hours to go before this flight lands. And knowing the boys, they will probably not let this slip anytime soon. 
I tell Daniel how I called Jona about spending the night together before the race. And how she denied it, and then getting mad at each other. How she came to my room, but I didn't allow her in. I also tell them about how she tried to talk to me after the race, but I walked away from that as well. 
"You are fucking stupid." I hear Charlotte say from the row of seats behind me, causing most of the people to start laughing. They've all been listening, which is something I should've expected. "She just had your best interest in mind." Charlotte adds. 
"But she never asked me what I wanted. She just decided." I say. Explaining how I'd tried to convince her that it was not necessarily the best thing for me. 
"Maybe this was her way of trying to maintain professionalism on track." Carmen says. "I can't imagine how hard it must be to actually be working with your boyfriend." 
"I don't know." I say silently. Maybe this was all just a stupid fight. 
***
I am happy to be spending some time with family. Having two weeks until the Emilia-Romagna Grand Prix. I decided to actually go to England again, rather than spending it in Monaco. 
And to be honest, this first week I was just with family and friends. I loved hanging out with my parents and siblings, had time to check in a bit with Quadrant, I even did a small stream with Max. It all felt okay, but I couldn't help missing Jona tremendously. 
But I'm actually scared for today to be honest. I have to get into MTC for the briefing of this weekends Grand Prix.
Chances are I will run into Jona, and we haven't spoken since the Australian Grand Prix. I tried to call her a few times, but she declined them all. I'm not amazed by it to be honest. I would've done the same if someone had talked to me the way I did to her. 
Pulling into the McLaren parking lot, I know there's no going back. People have already seen me, I can't go home now. 
I turn the engine off, grabbing my phone and walking into the office building. I immediately go to my office, trying to stay under the radar as much as possible. But chatter often goes fast when the drivers are in the building.