Chapter 34 Thinking about it

                                    

                                          
Shane woke up a bit early thanks to the thundering outside. He looked around, they both were still like they were after last night's shower. Ian was asleep in his arms, his face buried on his chest, sleeping peacefully. Moments like this made Shane appreciate the life he has. Should he take the next step? Probably not. It was a stretch Jas going to live whit them, so he shouldn't push his luck. Besides, he didn't want to make the other's upcoming birthday awkward. Of course he didn't know that the other was actually planning on proposing. Maybe they should had spoken about it. That's was a though he had. Maybe today at the park whit Jas they could speak about it. But then was it a right decision? What was a right decision? Shane felt he only did those whit Ian's help. He was miserable going back to work, but they had to feed not just themselves, but now Jas has well. The older played whit his boyfriend's hair, Ian groaned, burying his face further. Shane chuckled.
Shane: Good morning darling.
Ian: Mhmm... Fuck of...- the taller laughed, raising an eyebrow before asking.
Shane: I thought you were a morning person.
Ian: I wanna sleep... Mhmmm... I love you...
Shane: I love you two darling but I have to do farm work remember? If you want to keep sleeping it's fine.
Ian: Mhmmm.- he groaned before rolling off the taller - I'll go whit you... I need to get back into routine.- he added seating up Shane smiling has he got up. 
Shane: I love you so much.- he repeated before going over to the other and kissing his forehead.
Ian: Was last night good for you? I think I didn't ask.
Shane: I didn't. But yes... It was amazing.- he replied has he got dressed.
Ian: You'd be up for it happening again?- he asked taking off his shirt.
Shane: Absolutely... But that doesn't mean I won't still top.
Ian: I know. I love when you top. Just like the option of doing it two, you have such an attractive face when you take it.
Shane: You say I'm not attractive otherwise?- he teased has they both left the bedroom.
Ian: Well maybe.- he jocked before laughing - I'm kidding, I'm kidding, you're like the hottest man in the valley.
Shane: Well knowing that I'm just competing whit you, I don't think it's much.
Ian: Shane. Just take my compliment, you're hot. Your a dilf kind of hot ok? Maybe an acquired taste, but wine also is like it.- he said has they both left the house going over to the barn.
Shane: Alright alright... Is it a hot enough you'd think about marrying me?
Fuck Ian you dumbass he probably saw the mermaid pendants. Ok ok play it cool don't ruin the surprise.
Ian:  Yeah actually... 
Shane: You actually want to?
Ian: Yeah... One day that is. Right now whit the Jas thing I don't know if it's the right choice.
Yoba I feel so bad for lying to him... It's gonna be worth it. I hope it is... At least worth me getting short breathed over this.
Shane: You're right, you're right... Maybe a bit after she's whit us... You know, you don't have to be a parental figure to Jas if you don't want to... I understand and she does too, believe me.
Ian: I know.... I just don't quite know what kind of relationship me and her would have. I'm not expecting much, just that she won't hate me. I know how kids can be and me just being here can be precived badly or well depending on the kid.
Shane: Ian, I think it will be fine. Jas wants to live whit us, besides you two get along. You don't need to parent her, just be there and listen how her day has went, maybe help her with her homework if I'm not able to.
Ian: I can do that easily. I guess that's kind like when I used to look out for my sister. It will be fine tho... I think.... I hope I don't have a panic attack when I'm whit her.- Shane stopped what he was doing, holding onto the other's shoulder's and staring him in the eyes.
Shane: It won't happen. And well, if it does, Jas would go to Harvey. She's a smart kid, has long has things aren't too scary she can do it.
Ian: Alright so try to not scare her if I start feeling unwell?
Shane: Yeah, exactly. So, just focus on yourself honey, I got it, alright?
Ian: Right... I kinda feel bad for making you overwork.- he suddenly brought up. 
It was true, Shane bettwen his work and what he had to do at the farm had barely any time for himself, much less for the people he cared about.
Shane: Ian, it's fine love, stop overthinking. My job is mind numbing and getting a bit challenged and tired out from farm work is actually the reason I can sleep at night right now.
Ian: I thought you were better mentally?
Shane: I am, but I have a horrible chemical imbalance on my brain so it doesn't do much. 
Ian: Shane if that's serious you should look into meds.
Shane: Nope. No meds. Me and my therapist agreed on that. I'm already an alcoholic, I don't want to add yet another addiction to the list, you get me?
Ian: Yeah.... Oh speaking of which I should bring all my meds to the bathroom in our bedroom! Including the testosterone and SPECIALLY the needles.
Shane:Oh I almost forgot about that, it's weird I don't think I recall seeing you doing the shots.
Ian: I do them Mondays during the day usually so it's not that weird you don't see it.
Shane: Well, shouldn't I at least notice something?
Ian: I mean, sometimes I have a bandaid on my stomach, but otherwise no.
Shane: Mph... I'm still very clueless about this stuff aren't I?
Ian: A bit. But it's not that important. I'm still clueless about a lot of things you've experienced, doesn't mean our bond isn't good, just means we have things to talk about.
Shane: Oh we'll never run out of those... We'll probably be 60 year olds in that porch of yours just chilling and speaking.
Ian:I think you mean, our porch.
Shane:Yeah... I forgot that... Still doesn't feel like it's ours... I don't help around and we are just dating.
Ian: Shane, you're raising your child in that house, it's ours.
And if you say yes, it will be legally yours too.
Hey just popping in to say in really sick, my lungs are like shit right now, so I don't know if I keep uploading. There's a backlog of chapters, like this one was written in the 1st of November, but yeah I can barely remember to do shit so please don't mind it. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter if so please comment your thoughts and vote.
Much love.
-MissevilXD