13. Jona

                                    

                                          
It's been two weeks since I had my orientation at McLaren. I really enjoyed it, but what mainly stuck with me was my breakdown. It's not a great impression to leave with someone who might determine your future. 
Will this in any aspect change my chances. What if Lando had told them I do not cope with car accidents well. What if I ruined my chances by having that night with Lando. What if he thinks I'm just one of those fan girls trying to get in his pants.
Especially the first one is very permanent in my mind. People who work in F1 have to deal with crashes all the time. Which means I will have to deal with it. 
Even after all the EMDR and other PTSD therapy sessions, it still seems to surface. I even had extra sessions with my therapist after I went to the UK, but she can't seem to pin point if it was a one time resurfacing or that I'm actually not over it. 
My train of thought however is interrupted by a notification from Instagram. I expect it to probably be Lando, since he tends to respond on my pictures once I post something. It's the only contact we have had in the past two weeks, I understand he's busy, but it's not making me any less nervous about flying to Brazil tonight. 
I open my Instagram messages only to see the face of Daniel Ricciardo appearing on top of the screen. Well that's new. 
Have a great flight! 
His message is accompanied by a picture of him and Lando in the garage. Most of the team flew out yesterday, but I was asked to arrive on Wednesday. 
Thanks guys! 
I hit send and grab my bags. It's time to go to the airport again. My father is bringing me to Schiphol Airport, he will also be picking me up when I arrive back here on Tuesday. 
"My little girl is growing up." My dad says, as we unload the car at the airport parking lot. I'm bringing a bit more than I brought to MTC. This time having a big suitcase with clothing and my carry-on filled with all kinds of stuff I want to keep close. 
"This is not the time to be sentimental." I chuckle giving my dad a hug. 
"I know. I know. I just wish your mom was here to see you do all these awesome things." He says looking at me, pride written all over his face. 
"I do too." I sigh, giving my dad one more hug before walking toward the check-in desk. 
The queu for the check in desk is fairly short. I hand the woman my passport, and she starts working her magic. Getting me a boarding pass for my flight, and checking in my backs. She then hands me back my passport. "I think you'd like to know you've been upgraded to business class." 
I must've looked shocked when she said that, because she quickly adds something to her previous statement. "There was a message written here for you as well, it says Daniel and Lando wish you a wonderful flight." 
Of course it's Lando and Daniel. 
"Thank you," I say, still in shock I'll be flying business class to Brazil. 
I make my way through security, and then decide to go check out one of the lounges that comes with a business class ticket. I sit down in one of the comfy looking chairs overlooking different gates. I can see airplanes depart and arrive. 
Still two hours till take off, it all went much quicker than I anticipated. 
I take out my phone, scrolling through Instagram I can see that Lando and Daniel are doing some sight seeing together. I decide to create a group message on Instagram, since I don't have Daniel's number and I have not used Lando's since leaving England. I quickly snap a picture of me in the lounge and send it to both.