Chapter 49

                                    

                                          
second last chapter ooooh :)
                      
Harry's POV:
*FLASHBACK*
Lou pulls me in for a kiss, our lips meeting, him being slightly taller as he grips my elbows.
Zayn walks in, clearly looking for us.
"Louis, Harry, are you- Wait, you're fags?"
My blood boils, his comment repeating in my head.
"Wait, Louis, I meant- Fuck." He says, cussing repeatedly as Louis exits.
I see red.
"Don't talk to me or Louis ever again, Zayn! How could you say that, you sick bastard!"
"Hazza, you know I didn't-"
"Don't call me that, and don't you dare say you didn't mean to call me a fag, because it takes a lot to do something as fucking awful as that. Stay away from us."
"Harry-"
"Don't, Zayn. Just. Don't."
END OF FLASHBACK
I feel a similar hate towards Zayn right now as I did then, that moment imprinted in my mind. I was quick to learn that he hadn't meant it, but growing up in a heavily religious household where queerness was not accepted, he was conditioned to it. His parents have since been brought into the twenty first century, thus ensuring acceptance from him and his family, but back then, he was homophobic as hell.
I don't know if I ever really forgave him for that. I mean sure, we rebuilt our friendship, but this was when I was sixteen. I wasn't confident in myself, hell, half the time I'm still not confident. I mean, I'm growing out my hair and I'm scared about that, for fucks sake.
Every now and then I would get piss drunk and I would go to Zayn. We'd talk about literally anything and everything, things I couldn't even tell Louis.
And now he's gone. He bundled up all my secrets and walked off with them, screwing everything up in the process.
I mean, sure, I could keep in touch with him. I could stop blaming him for Louis' reaction.
But I need someone to blame, else I'd blame myself. And I really don't want to be the one at fault here.
As Niall and I stand backstage in the now empty arena, him close to my chest, I feel the salty tears start leaking from my eyes. Despite my best efforts, a steady flow comes, and wave after wave of the tears drips down my face.
I bite my lip to stop myself from making a noise and disturbing Niall, his face buried in my shoulder. His hugs have always been the best, even better than Louis', not that I'd ever tell him that.
"Right, Harry? Niall? You guys need to hop on the bus, Louis is going to meet you at the hotel." Louise says softly. "Thank god he's okay, I'll be giving him a piece of my mind for walking off like that." She mutters, more to herself than to us.
              
very short, i know, but the next one will be about the same, then a longer epilogue. 
please vote & comment :)
all the love,
~perzon