Chapter 10

                                    

                                          
Him
In Zürich
A day before departure
  
Jeong Hyeok cannot remember at what point he dozed off the evening prior—well, this morning, actually. But the last thing he recalls is him trying his best to keep his eyes closed shut, engaged in some sort of match with Se Ri to determine who gives up whose ruse first: him putting on an act that he had fallen in deep sleep, or her pretending not to be aware of it.
At a time like this, her toleration of his retreat is an act of grace he is very much grateful for—especially since he is still posing as though he is still stuck somewhere in the land of Nod. And it is not because he wants to shut her out; he just wishes to delay the discussion for as long as he could.
Although sooner or later, it would be inevitable for him to let her in.
They are a couple, after all. And they have already made a mutual, unspoken vow—from the very moment it occurred to them that there is no one in the world they would rather be committed to than each other—to be together in everything.
In good times and in bad. In sickness and in health. For richer, for poorer…
For better. And regrettably, for worse.
He will have to tell her about last night. It’s just that he does not know where to start and how to go through the details without stirring those doubts in her again in the end—which immediately occurs to him as a lame excuse to snap out of this dire state of denial.
Deep inside, he is afraid that the truth in the words he heard from the night before will become more and more concrete in his head, shaping into an undeniable and irrevocable reality with a power to devastate him each time he talks about it.
A year, his father said. The doctors told me that we would be very lucky to still have her with us as we welcome the new year.
Jeong Hyeok bitterly scoffed, What!?
Apparently, the disease had rapidly progressed.
A-are they sure about this? Maybe they are just jumping into conclusions—
They did everything they could, Jeong Hyeok-ah—and we have sought advice from four different specialists in hopes that the diagnosis was wrong. But they were all in agreement that it has been a while since she stopped responding to treatments.
That was enough to silence Jeong Hyeok. And he felt one of his knees give out right there and then.
Your mother was reluctant to go through the grueling process, you see? The truth is, she only consented to it because I begged her to, Ri Chung Ryeol proceeded to inform him, and he sounded like a man who had every bit of his hope forcibly taken away. Now, it is time we honor her wishes.
With each word, Jeong Hyeok lost his grip on whatever argument he had and surrendered, therefore allowing the fact that his mother was dying to register in his muddled brain and his already-shattered heart.
Helpless, he had no other choice but to ask, What is it, abeonim?
She would like to see the world, his father told him with a forlorn smile that he absolutely regretted to behold in this lifetime. And of course, my son—even if it were the last time she will ever do—she would like to see you.
  
So even as Jeong Hyeok senses Se Ri shift at the present behind him, rolling onto her back and then, very fluidly ensconcing herself along the length of his back with her tiny body to spoon his obviously bigger one… even as he feels the tip of her nose nudging into the space between his scapulas and her breath tickling his skin while she murmurs his name, he wills himself not to move.