LXXV

                                    

                                          
There he was. The slender, tall back of Brett's best friend, standing there by the kitchen counter, a glass of water in his hand.
Brett felt a shiver running from head to toe and his cheeks heat up, recalling what had happened just a few minutes ago. 
"Eddy?", Brett tried, his voice diffident like he was suddenly fourteen again, when they first met at math tutoring.
Eddy's back winced, the water in his glass rippled, as the long fingers around it trembled. 
It was that sight, which led Brett to grasp how insanely brave Eddy had been. Storming into Brett's room and kissing him without really knowing for sure how Brett felt, clearly evident by the way how Eddy had retreated afterwards.
It was now up to Brett to show Eddy, that what he'd done wasn't like he'd labelled, "unforgivable", but instead the best thing that had happened in Brett Yang's life.
Brett made his way to the kitchen with soft footsteps and stopped just right in front of Eddy's back. He took a deep breath. It was astonishing, really, how much courage he still needed for this despite Eddy having already revealed partially what he felt.
But if Eddy could take a leap of faith, how much more should he be able to?
So he put his arms around Eddy, carefully at first, but when he felt the other relax, he tightened his hug and burried his face in the fabric of Eddy's red Christmas Apparel sweater, breathing in the scent of the fabric softener they used, Eddy's shampoo and Eddy's own unique, musky and almost sweet smell. It had become Brett's favourite fragrance long ago.
"Hey", he mumbled into Eddy's back.
"Hey", Eddy breathed shakily. Had he been crying?
"Listen..." Brett knew what he wanted, needed, to say. It wasn't a confession yet. If Eddy wanted time to go through with his plan, whatever it was, Brett would give it to him. He would let Eddy do his thing and in the meantime get better again, so they could start whatever this was going to be on the same eye level without Eddy having to take care of Brett, like Brett himself had intended.
"I'm gonna wait. For whatever you're planning. You don't have to do right by me at all or whatever, but just so you know, there is nothing unforgivable you've done ever!"
Well, maybe that thing Eddy did before Brett had stormed into his room, but he wasn't about to say that. And if that was what it took for Eddy to finally kiss him, Brett would never even dare to wince because of it.
"... Brett..."
"Hmm?"
"I didn't understand a word you've just said!"
Brett slapped Eddy's back hard.
"Fuckin' moron!", he said under his breath.
Eddy laughed. A loud, clear and unburdened laugh. The kind of laugh by which Brett knew the tension was dissolved. 
He loved that laugh. 
Eddy turned around and put his arms around Brett as well, so they stood there in a loose hug. His gaze with which he locked Brett's was warm and soft and made Brett's insides melt. However, he could still see several tears caught in Eddy's dark lashes and felt a pang of guilt.
"Nothing unforgivable, huh? Not even with the stupid stunt I just pulled?", Eddy smirked, the droplets slowly disappearing with every blink of his eyes. Brett shook his head, but suddenly didn't dare to look at the other directly. Too close, too fresh the memory of THE event (of course!), occupying Brett's mind fully after being reminded by Eddy (not that a reminder was necessary per se, really...).
"Hey" Eddy cupped Brett's cheek, so he had no choice but to stare into Eddy's searching eyes. "Was it really okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"Well...", Brett croaked and had to clear his throat, before he continued, "you DID cause some bleeding and injury" Eddy was frowning again, so Brett made sure to speak the following words as fast as he could, "but no, Eddy. It's all good. More than good in fact."
"Okay...", Eddy whispered, his fingers caressing Brett's face softly.
And Brett wanted nothing more in this moment to leap forward and claim Eddy's glistening lips with his own again, this time with the full awareness of what was happening, the full attention it deserved. And if it would have been someone else, he probably would have just gone for it. No thinking or pondering about the consequences needed. But Eddy was too important. He wasn't a casual fling, a one time and never again kind of matter, no. Eddy Chen was everything!
So he knew, they both knew, that the time for this was yet to come. After they would talk, after Eddy would have done his thing, after Brett would be back to a hundred percent.
And they would have all the time in the world. 
So, they reluctantly let go of each other, but still held each other's gaze.
"Injuries and bleeding lips? Really?", Eddy sniggered after a short while, filled with them looking at the other in slight, incredulous amazement about what had just happened. 
"Yup. You're a terrible kisser", Brett commented and caused Eddy to sigh deeply.
"I wished I could have done better. I'm sorry, I just panicked."
Brett smiled fondly. 
Eddy had panicked. Because of him. And then he'd kissed him!
Crazy!
"I should make you panic more often then."
Brett didn't miss the sharp intake of breath from the other and had to laugh. 
"Brett Yang, you little tease." Eddy licked his lips in a way Brett wanted to throw their whole unspoken agreement out of the window. To prevent himself from doing that, he lifted his arm and ruffled Eddy's already messy hair. "Let's get on with that tree, shall we? Where do you want to put my crappy gift?"
Eddy pointed at the pink unicorn and it was quickly replaced by the most superior of instruments. 
Tchaik's nutcracker was suddenly very prominent in Brett's ears again. The tension was gone and they were back on terra firma. Back to being them. 
And yet so much more.