X- A THREE WAY FRIENDSHIP

                                    

                                          
H
I went back upstairs feeling as though a hurricane had exploded through me. Stepping onto my floor, I found Louis and Denise kissing in the hallway, but I didn't care. He called me, but I was a zombie. 
I walked in, right past Niall and straight into my bedroom. I collapsed to the floor, trying hard to breathe and cursing but loving all of it.
Fuck.
How can I deal with this again? How will I survive this again? Why was I eager to go through all of this again? He tasted the same, smelled the same and even felt the same. I was desperate for him to a point of wanting to scream it into the air.
"Harry?" Niall called walking into the bedroom. He knelt beside me, seeing how hard I was breathing. "Did you drink too much?" Seeing the kindness and concern in his eyes, made me explode. I began to cry in a mist of guilt, happiness, and desperation. I hid my face under my palms. "Hey, mate...what happened?"
I wiped my tears, finding Niall sitting next to my head.
"Rip my heart out."
"Harry..." Niall leaned over me placing on hand on my chest. "You're having a panic attack.."
"Why is he doing this to me?" I let out in exasperation. Feeling my cheeks burn. "Why can't I leave him?"
"Let's breathe, okay?"
"Why can't I just fucking leave him and be happy with someone else? This is torture."
"Come on, focus on me now, mate," 
I looked at him seeing his soft smile and agreed. We breathed together so I could find footing in my anxiety. 
A few seconds later I didn't feel as rash or as panicked. I looked at Niall who showed me kindness.
"I am fucking in love with Zayn." I declared with an ache. "I love him too much, Niall."
Niall sighed and looked around the room. My friend leaned over, closed the door then turned to me:
"You know, I had no idea this was a thing between the two of you. It caught me by surprise I must admit. My three friends were involved in a love triangle. Who had time for that? But deep down...I wasn't that shocked."
"You weren't?"
"No." Niall smiled. "How do I explain this: I've always seen you and Zayn were part of the same cluster, you know? You two just connected. Instantly. I saw it with my eyes. And I always thought that if any of us in the group would end up married, it'd be the two of you. I look at you two and I just see...love, you know?"
"What do you see when you look at Liam and Zayn?"
Niall gave it a few seconds to think. "Something else. Unbalanced in a way, but equally powerful."
Gently, I sat back up feeling the tears roll down my face. "I cried a lot for him, Niall."
"And he cried too."
I looked at him and frowned. "He did?"
My friend nodded. "Yeah. Louis had your back, but who do you think had Zayn's?"
"You think I should've stayed?"
"No, God no," Niall added. "You did the right thing. Zayn was thinking he could have both of you in a way. Love you both equally. He couldn't. You did what you needed to do for yourself and that was great."
I sniffed a bit more wiping another tear. "Have you met the baby?"
"Jaimie? Yes. He's a funny boy. Looks like Liam, behaves like Zayn."