Chapter 5

                                    

                                          

It rained all morning the following day. I lay in my bed as long as possible. Mother hadn't come to get me yet. I had to pack still. I'd be moving to the Murphy's tomorrow. If that was even still happening. My brain was a jumbled pile, and my emotions were even more insane. 
            The self-loathing was as high as ever. 
            I traced the C on each of my palms, staring at them in the dim light coming from the window. I wasn't strong enough for all of this. How could I be someone's wife? Especially someone who hated me. 
            There was a single knock on the door and then my mother opened the door. 
            "Get up, you still have to pack."
            No "good morning," no "how are you." Nothing. 
            "The move is still happening?" I asked carefully. 
            "Don't be an idiot. Of course it is. Get up, you'll waste the day away." 
            Then she left, slamming the door behind her, making me flinch. 
            I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, my hair a wild mess from the night before, some pearl clips still stuck in there as I yawned loudly. 
            I miserably freshened up and started packing my room before the hunger got the better of me. I snuck downstairs. The manor was quiet, the post-party décor still lingered. I made myself some lunch and sat in the kitchen alone. 
            This was my last day in my parents' home. Perhaps ever. 
            I studied the moment, taking it in. It was mostly a lot of this. Sitting alone in the silence. I tried to find happy memories. 
            Painting. 
            Sneaking out that one time with Ellie. 
            Reading in the garden. 
            I'd miss the garden. 
            Perhaps wherever I ended up, I could have my own garden or plants. 
            I silently cleaned my dish and started back for the stairs, but one of the servants met me in the hallway. "Miss. Carmichael," she was holding a bouquet of flowers, "These were just dropped off for you!"
            I frowned, taking them in. I looked around, "For me?"
            "Yes, there's a note attached."
            "Thank you," I muttered, wordlessly taking the beautiful bouquet. They were gorgeous – with muted greens and whites. They smelled fresh and lovely. I took the flowers to my room to read the note in silence. Maybe they were from Rose and Kailey, or even Ellie. 
            I opened the small note. 
            I'm sorry, angel. I was an idiot and didn't mean to hurt you. I'll make it up to you. 
-         J
I stared at the flowers for a long minute in utter shock. Instinctively, I played with my engagement ring, rolling it around my finger. 
            This was all so confusing. 
            It was a nice gesture, but was I being naïve again? He'd been nice to me plenty of times. We even joked around on Saturday before things went bad. I thought...well, I don't know what I thought. I've never been with a man before. I've never liked anyone the way I liked him. 
            This was all formality though. His brother probably forced him to do it – or worse, his parents. 
            Blinking, I shook myself out of it.