Do you know how to flirt? Yeah, I didn't think so. So after a while of attended this thing you commoners call school I learnt that girls flirt. Shocker right? Yeah, in like the cheesiest ways. Oh! You want examples here here I'll list them, 1-100.
100. Giggle.
99. Giggle and lick your lips.
98. Giggle, lick your lips, and then rub your belly all over.
97. Say things like, “Wow...you’re really strong and good,” and, “Sometimes I wish I was your shirt so I could hug you all day. Your shirt is so lucky. [sigh]”
96. Flirt by playing with your hair. (Games like Tic-Tac-Toe are easy as the hair can quickly be formed into X's and O’s on a sheet of notebook paper. You may also make hair dolls and hair bracelets!)
95. Hide from your crush whenever they are near. This adds mystery to your blossoming relationship. If your crush spots you hiding, yelp and run. But run in a sassy, sexy, playful manner. Crying is okay, but only if it’s sexy crying.
94. If your crush sees you crying and asks what’s wrong, just giggle forcefully to ease the tension. Then mention how lucky his shirt is. Then run. Better yet, skip! Skipping, even if you're crying and giggling, will make you seem free-spirited!
93. Send a funny text message. But you don’t want your message to get lost in a sea of other messages, so send it when he’s least likely to receive messages. 3:19 am on a Tuesday is perfect! Then send it again at 4:19 am to make sure he got it. Send it to his parents as well. That way, you’ll be the topic of conversation at breakfast! Yay!
92. Flirt with someone at a bookstore by slapping the book out of their hands and whispering, “Books are word prisons!” Then karate chop the air and saunter away.
91. Brag! Bragging is great and sexy!!!!
90. Ask to borrow a pencil. Then use the pencil to write, “I own bras. Not kidding,” on a sheet of paper. Then casually point to the phrase with the borrowed pencil. Wink with both eyes!
89. Eat an apple in front of your crush, only using your eyes.
88. Fall down a lot, hoping someone hot will help you up. (Wear pads a helmet!)
87. Snorting is extreme giggling, and thus is considered extreme flirting.
86. Play footsie, but don’t keep score. That ruins it.
85. Sit behind your crush and try to touch his hair with your tongue without having him notice. It’s harder than you think. (But oh so worth it!)
84. Make a deal with a ghost: If the ghost haunts your crush until he falls in love with you, you will help the ghost solve his own murder.
83. Tell your crush about this whole ghost deal.
82. Send your flirt partner this article in an email with the subject line “Mmmmmm.”
81. Give your handsome stranger a scrambled Rubik’s Cube that, once solved, spells out the words, “We can sex if you want!”
80. Flirt with your knees and scalp.
YOU ARE READING
99 Ways to get Rid of Annoying People
HumorWelcome and beware this book may change your life :3 CAUTION: Please keep in mind that this book is purely fiction and anything deemed inappropriate in this book is purely for laughs. I am not trying to offend anyone.
