Ch 14. Broken Glass

                                    

                                          

Y/N POV 
My eyes opened and felt like they were opening to a nightmare. As I sat upright and turned to see Jungkook still sleeping my heart sank. Knowing he belonged to someone else. Someone more beautiful than me and totally right for him. I thought of their lives playing out together in front of me and I felt powerless and broken. As I looked upon his perfect features, his smooth skin, and pout as he slept, his hair ruffled but effortlessly handsome, I thought of myself, plain, boring, nothing in society. How I loathed myself. 
I put on a simple light pink dress after bathing and went in to have breakfast. Jungkook come in sighing in his robe, opened and showcasing his toned core.
"Your not making this any easier" I said, as I shielded my eyes.
  He yawned and allowed his robe to open more. 
"Jungkook, I'm serious" I said, solemnly. "Your engaged"
"Look. I was trying to think of a way to make it work" He revealed, as he went to make tea, leaving me to talk to the back of him.
"Oh and how are you going to manage that?" I said folding my arms. "Sneak around your fiancée's back?"
"Of course not" He exclaimed turning around and effortlessly pouring his tea into the cup. I surveyed him, and shifted, oh why did he always have to make me feel like this. Day by day only my love and attraction was growing for him, but finding out what I had earlier, I just felt hopeless about everything. 
"Then how?" I sighed. He sat down and has he sipped his tea, he made eye contact with me. I looked away nervously.  
"Why can't you look me in the eyes?" he asked with a smirk, cup in hand.
"Because I feel like you can tell what I'm thinking" I replied. 
"But you always tell me what you think anyway" he said.
"Not everything" I replied. He purposely gazed me down, his dark eyes piercing through me, reading my soul. I felt myself get warm and thoughts of the previous night returned to me. 
"Your thinking about last night aren't you" he said teasingly, leaning back on the chair, allowing his robe to fall at the wayside. 
" I'm not the only one .. So are you" I said, laughing, allowing myself to look at him more with ease. Opening up felt good. "Anyway what are you thinking about what to do next" 
"I don't know exactly, but I just know that I wont be forgetting about you, can we at least be friends?" he asked. I thought of the word "friends," Should i have been happy with his offer? At least he would be in my life. 
"If it's the only alternative, then yes. I don't want to lose you from my life" I said. "But can you, not kiss me again, not have sex? Not think of me in any way beyond a friend"
He looked at the table solemnly. "No, I cant. But with the circumstances, this may be all we can have" 
"Are you going to take her to the bed" I asked. I read his expression with curiosity and regret at asking such a question.
"Well she is to be my wife, so can I really deny her" 
With his words I stood up abruptly, feeling angered. "I would like you to take me back home now" 
"Y/n...." he began. 
"No I've had enough, let's go" 
I went outside and started gathering the horses. It was beginning to rain. "Y/N come back inside, at least until the rain has stopped" 
"No, this whole thing was a mistake. Don't you see! Why did you have to come into my life, only to leave again, everything is ruined" I cried, my face getting soaked in the rain. "I give all for you, my whole heart"