episode 18: just a misunderstanding.

                                    

                                          
suzuki told me to act like nothing ever happened that night, but that seemed to be a struggle for both of us.
she was avoiding me. i don't know if she did it subconsciously or purposely, but she was avoiding me and that honestly hurt. whenever i'd talk to her, she'd answer in short, one-worded replies or answer the question straightforwardly and just how it needed to be answered. my guilt ate up at me.
often, i'd catch her staring at me during class. her eyes had an unreadable glow in them, and however hard i tried, i couldn't decipher if she wanted us to go back to normal or... something else. when we'd meet eyes, she would quickly turn away, too shy to look at me. i guess our situation went back to its original state, with her being the quiet girl and me the boy who wanted to approach her, but didn't know how.
it's been that way for so long that i lost track of time. momoko saw this as the perfect opportunity to get closer to me, but i would give her the same treatment suzuki gave me. it hurt me to realize this, but that's how it is, i guess.
one day, i went to suzuki's apartment and knocked on the door. i desperately wanted to fix the situation with us, and if she won't talk to me at school or on the phone, i'll go to her house and talk face-to-face. 
i waited there for about a minute, before sayaka, whom i knew as suzuki's twin sister, opened the door for me. i greeted her and asked if her parents or suzuki were at home, and she nodded and told me suzuki was in her room. she invited me in and i sat in their living room while she moved around to get something for hospitality. i realized i was a guest in their household.
acknowledging that fact, i told sayaka not to bother and serve hospitality, for i came to only talk to suzuki. sayaka's face lit up in remembrance and she asked me what happened between us. she told me that suzuki was more quiet that usual, and she seemed always deep in thought. i asked her how she knew if suzuki didn't say anything, and sayaka told me with a smug smirk that suzuki and she might be different in personality, but they're twins, at the end of the day. i nodded at that and requested for sayaka to call her twin sister for me. she agreed and told me to "fix her," because she seemed "out of it." i felt my heart ache at that, but sayaka's words made me determined to settle our situation.
i heard sayaka and suzuki's voices behind where i sat. sayaka was telling her sister to come out and see me, but suzuki was disagreeing and saying she wasn't ready yet.
"he came all the way here, suzuki!" sayaka exclaimed. that silenced her sister. "go talk with him. i won't eavesdrop, i promise."
and with that, sayaka gave suzuki a push into the living room and quickly hid inside the room suzuki came from. she stood a few feet away from me and held my gaze, but soon sighed and sat across from me.
we sat in a suffocating silence for a minute or two. i spoke first.
"suzuki, you know i didn't mean to do that," i began. "i.. i honestly don't know what came over me, and i'm sorry for making you uncomfortable."
i heard her mutter a "you didn't make me uncomfortable," but i didn't pay attention to it and continued. 
"i.. it— i honestly can't take it that you're distancing yourself from me," i admitted with a wobble in my voice. "i don't like it at all. i've missed you so much, you know? and.. and momoko, she's just.. please come back."
throughout that speech, i was looking at my lap while i fiddled with the hem of my hoodie. we sat in another silence after i was done.
"riki, i never intended to avoid you like this," she began. "i also felt horrible about it, but i was still... processing that whole night. i didn't know how to act so.. normal about it. it was all i could think of."
i don't know if i should feel good or not about that last sentence.
"and it just... i'm sorry you had to come all the way here, and i'm sorry for ignoring you. let's forget this time period, alright?"
she showed me a kind smile, and i huffed out a breath of relief and smiled myself. 
"thank you," i mumbled. suzuki chuckled and waved her hand dismissively. 
"no, it's nothing. just a misunderstanding," she said. "and momoko? has she been annoying you?"
i groaned at the mention of the girl. "she's been desperately trying to get closer to me. i don't know how to deal with her."
suzuki nodded mindfully.
"say, shall we go to the park?" she asked, gesturing the door. i agreed to her suggestion and she moved to wear her hoodie and inform her sister, and i told her i'll wait outside by the door. 
it seemed the little misconception between us was settled, and i smiled at the thought. i hope nothing else comes between us like this, for it honestly drives me mad.