Chapter 1: And So It Begins Again

                                    

                                          
Lynx: 
What made me think I could do this? That I could've survived and tricked and played out a plan that was so poorly made. Why would Seren follow me blindly knowing death and banishment to Plut, a frozen wasteland of a planet, was on the line? How could she trust me with her life when I could barely trust myself with my own? And now her and Scorpius, the Pharon who my soul was undoubtedly tied to, were hurt. Possibly even dead. And it was no one's fault but mine. 
My love for Seren was strong. It had always been resilient even when we were young, from the moment I told her I wanted to be hers all those years ago on our home planet Dalmoria. I always thought our love would be able to withstand anything, anyone, that tried to come between it. I felt that so strongly that I even tried to go against my mother for Seren. I even attempted to go up against Thysus, the Goddess of Beginnings, because I believed my love was bigger than anything in this entire universe. 
I was wrong, I just didn't know how wrong I was. My mothers denial should have been the first clue. Heading off to meet with Thysus to figure out who my soul tie was should've been the second. But no matter how impossible it all seemed, I knew the love I had for Seren was something to fight for. Something I would risk everything to have. And, stupidly, I ended up risking her life in the process. If I loved her as much as I said I did, why did I let her go along with my idiotic plan? Why would I tell her we could run off, kill our soul ties, and end up living on the planet Xoven together when it was all said and done? 
Someone who loved another the way I loved Seren would never have done that. I shouldn't have thought up something so desperate just because I was so fearful of losing her. In the end, I lost her anyway. We never ran off together like we naively assumed we would. I ended up getting her kidnapped by Demien Crypt, the blood thirsty royal who ruled over Xoven. And even when I went to save her, another stupid plan, I just ended up hurting her more. They may have physically put her in harms way, but I was the one who emotionally tore her apart. 
To top it off I couldn't kill my soul tie. Granted, neither could Seren, but we both had such different reasons for keeping them alive. She couldn't kill Estella, her half Airlie, half Everot mate, because she trusted her enough to expose the plan to her and in the end it turned out to be the right move. Estella loved Seren so much that she helped her try to find me. Another person sucked into my failing plan. 
I, on the other hand, couldn't kill Scorpius because I actually ended up falling for him. To say the plan fell apart would be an understatement. How was I supposed to know I would end up feeling sorry for a man who I once looked at as egotistical and annoying? Apparently Thysus really did know what she was doing when it came to assigning us mates. In my mind Estella was perfect for Seren. She could protect her better than I could, with or without the protective bond that Thysus gives one of us, and she truly loved her enough to be selfless. Estella didn't even think twice about letting Seren follow her heart and come find me. 
Scorpius and I had things in common, sure. The fact that he lost his mother and I lost my father made us relate to the other. But it was his vulnerability towards me, his question for patience, that made me see him in a different light. It was almost as if he knew about the plan before I told him, which was impossible. I saw him for who he wanted to be. The man he was before his mothers death had changed him for the worse. And those moments of transparency gave me the feelings that I can no longer suppress or pretend aren't there. I fell for him before I stumbled, before I could crawl in his direction. I fell with my knees scrapping the ground, gravel in my palms, lungs burning and heart pounding for him. 
And now he was just as in danger as Seren was because Demien had captured him too. Demien needed me to give him my choice between my first love and my soul tie. But how could I do that? Why would I pick between both of them when I barely understood my feelings in the first place?