1: Pete's Revenge (VP)

                                    

                                          
[AN: Hi guys. I'm breaking my almost 3-year hiatus with  KP/VP/KC oneshots. I hope you like it.]

1: Pete's Revenge


I slowly inched towards the enemy with a weapon in hand.
There he is, climbing the wall he was barred in. Hair matted, his face dirty, he turned around and saw me and had the gal to give me that evil smile of his. Such insolence! He is clearly taunting me. Even as I approached him, his eyes that were so similar to mine flashed maliciously. 
He opened his mouth, drooling. A loud 'huh' escaped from his dry lips. I can't take this sight any further. I must end this. I gripped my weapon tightly and pointed it at his face. 
He stopped laughing.
"You've got nerve. But you can't disrespect me like this." I said. 
I shoot him straight on the face which registered his shock before he fell down – 




"Fuck you Vegas!" 




I heard Pete run from behind. He was fuming in anger, holding a wooden spoon and wearing an apron... apron... wearing only an apron...

"Ah!" I gasped as he hit me on the head with his spoon. At the same time, the enemy started crying inconsolably.
"Damnit, stop whining." I glared at it.
"I would whine too if I hadn't been fed and bathed. I freaking told you to bathe Venice 2 hours ago and feed him! Why is he still in his crib looking like a dirty unfed dog?!" Pete shouted.
He approached Venice and carried the crying toddler, trying to pacify him. "Why the fuck is his face splattered with milk?"

I was too late. Pete spotted what was in my hand and hit me again with the wooden spoon.

"You squirted the milk bottle on him. Again?!"
"I didn't mean to!" I lied. "Look at him, he's annoying the heck out of me."
"He's a baby, you dumbass! You bathe him with water and feed him with milk, or do you have a concussion that you mixed up the two?"
When it heard Pete say that, it cried loudly again probably to pin me as the villain. This little shit really has a way with acting.
"You're calling him 'it' on your mind again, aren't you? Damn, Vegas. When will you accept that this is your son now?"
"H-how did you know..."
"Oh it's easy to guess. You call him 'it' every time Venice does something. It is crying. It is stinky. It refuses to take a bath. It is sucking its toes."
"Well, it is a stinky pooper that sucks its toes!"
"What if I call you 'that' instead? I bet you'd like that. That guy has an evil laugh. That grown-ass man bought leopard-print boxers again. That asshole can't even hold a baby properly. That moron steals all the baby's toys and hides them."