109

                                    

                                          
Leah
"Because..." I gulp trying to gain the courage to speak up.
He places his hands on his face in irritation. "Leah."
 "Because I didn't want to lose the little relationship that we have," I blurted out.
"What?" 
"Do you not see how we were not the same as we used to be?" Tears fall down my face rapidly. "You were all about work and then when Starr came, you found a relationship with her."
"Is this about Starr?" Orlando throws his hands. 
"No," My hands quiver as I try to find the right words. "Its about the fact that you are happy with everyone else." I close my eyes, not happy with my choice of words. "I mean... I want to see you happy but... wh-- when did you stop wanting to share those moments with me?"
"Wh--," He blinks uncontrollably. "I do share those moments with you."
"Do you?" I dropped my hands, waiting on his honesty.
Instead he looks at me in disbelief.
I continue, "Because when was the last time we sat down together? When was the last time we had a real conversation outside of the mafia? When was the last time we watched a fucking movie together-- and no that does not include when we watched Dora the fucking Explora with the crew? Huh... when was the last time?"
Orlando places his right hand over his mouth. "It's been a while."
I nod my head in defeat. "And does that not seem weird to you?"
"We've grown apart and found different positions as our jobs.... is that not normal?"
The words that came out of his mouth hurt more than him ignoring me. Because he doesn't see why that statement couldn't apply to us differently
"We're not," I clap my hands together.
"We're not what?"
"Orlando. We are not normal," My ears began to ring in annoyance. "We haven't been for fucking years now. For fucks sake we're in a fucking mafia and our best friends are our leaders." My tears grow heavy. "Do you really not see why I'm concerned?"
"I do," He raises his voice. "I've always seen it, okay. Are you happy?"
"Why would I be?" I sniff wiping my tears away though they continue flowing. "I haven't had a relationship with my brother in years. Why would I be happy?"
"You know I didn't mean it like that," He tilts his head with a concerned look on his face, placing his hand on my knee. "I just want to protect you."
"You have done that."
"But do you know why?" He questions me. "Because if I let even the slightest person feel like you have a hold on me... I'll lose you just like Grayson lost himself. I'd lose myself too."
"But you won't have to go through that," I plead. "You have so many people who are going to stand behind you even if that was to happen."
"But it's the thought," He places his hand under his eye wiping an assumed tear. "I love you too much to want to experience that."
He closes his eyes laying back into the chair. I stare at him watching his chest rise and fall as we sit in silence. 
He leans forward, taking both arms around my body holding me in a deep hug.
I close my eyes, loving every moment of it. I finally felt like I was truly his sister. 
"We've been through so much," I say wiping my dried tears from my cheeks, letting a small laugh pierce through my lips. "Hey... and after all we've been through, you've never truly told me about that one girl."