ACT SIX: Part Two

                                    

                                          

Chapter Notes 
here we are again! 
yet another different pov chapter, this time with mary and lily! once again, ive put dates before each scene, and you may recognize some scenes that were referenced earlier, or used before, just now from a different perspective. 
warnings for brief mary/sirius and lily/original male character, some jealousy, as well as some arguing, awkward moments, and tension. there's also a brief discussion of how queer people are treated unfairly. with that being said, go forth and enjoy! 
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Hogwarts circa June, 1976 
Lily has not had a good week. Actually, she'd go as far as saying she hasn't had a good month. Maybe it's just been a bad year all the way around. Fifteen was an awful, shit age, and five months into sixteen has proven that it's not much better. 
Sometimes, Lily feels guilty for not wanting to go home. It's not so much that she doesn't want to see her family, because she does, even Petunia. It's more that she hates feeling so disconnected from something she loves. And magic? She loves magic. She loves everything about it, even while not being ignorant to its flaws, of which there are many. And, for all the shit she's dealt with while in Hogwarts, she nonetheless misses Hogwarts when she's gone. 
This summer will no doubt be worse. She'll hardly be able to leave her house, in the endeavor to avoid Severus, which will likely put her in the immediate vicinity of Petunia at all times. Lily has always been able to get away when she needed to and have Severus keep her company, and now she'll spend the entire sodding summer hidden away in her room, most likely. 
Lily's dreading it. She's been dreading every day before her from the moment she wakes up each morning, and as much as she tries, she can't get that feeling to stop. Just a steady sense of anxiety tangling her stomach into knots that won't leave her alone, won't go away, won't give her a break. 
Mary helps. Of course Mary does. Like she can sense when it's at its worst, she sweeps right into the dorm and slides right into Lily's bed right next to her. 
"I just saw James nearly burst into tears because Frank mentioned something about not being here next year," Mary announces, lying on her back with her hands threaded on her stomach. Lily is curled up on her side, trying to shrink into a ball and disappear from the world for a while. 
"That would be funny if I didn't feel the same exact way about Alice," Lily mumbles, which is true. Much the same way Potter looks up to Frank, Lily idolizes Alice. It can get a little frustrating when they're both trying to spend time with their respective favorite, except their favorites are together, so it forces them to be near each other. Potter thinks it's fate, like a sign that they're compatible, and Lily usually just gives up and waits for Alice to be alone, rather than subject herself to the idiocy and arrogance in human form that is James Potter. 
Mary hums. "They'll write. We'll see them again, Lily." 
"I know," Lily says with a heavy sigh. 
"You're moping," Mary announces. "Why are you moping?" 
"I'm feeling mopey," Lily mutters, squinting at the side of Mary's face until she looks over. 
"Well, we can't have that," Mary says, clicking her tongue as she turns over on her side to face her. "Tell me why you're mopey so I can make you feel better about it." 
"I'm not so sure that you can." 
"Oh, you underestimate me?" 
At that, Lily has to laugh, even if it's weak, and Mary grins in triumph. "No, I suppose not. I know better." 
"So? Why are you mopey?" Mary prompts patiently. 
"It's just…" Lily trails off, because she genuinely isn't sure where to start. She's feeling like this because of so many different things. She tries to be logical about it, separating all that has her tangled up, because maybe if she could feel better about just one thing, the rest wouldn't be so bad. "Do you ever feel like…? I mean, do you ever feel guilty for being upset that you'll have to go without magic? Like—like you're just proving everyone right by missing the witch you are when you can't be that at home? Do you—do you even feel that way at all?"