Chapter 29

                                    

                                          
As Optimus entered her room, he could hear sobbing coming from the showers. He wasn't exactly surprised as Saphira had reacted to hitting Fowler as if she was guilty. However, it pained his spark hearing her sobs. He honestly wished he could reach in, grab her and bring her close to him so he could hold her while she cried. He glanced around to figure out a good spot to place the punching bag before he settled with placing it at the other end of the room. He would move it if he was asked to, but he figured it was a good spot.
"O-Optimus?" He turned upon hearing her voice, she was standing at the door into the showers, her face was wet with tears. She looked at the punching bag and sniffled. "I...I-Is Fowler leaving?"
Optimus shakes his head as he walked closer and dropped down to one knee. "No, he is having a break just as you should be." She looked away from him, holding her arm tightly as she sobbed. "You didn't hurt him. You are the one who has been hurt, and reacting the way you did is a normal reaction due to what you've been through." There was no response again and Optimus exhaled before extending his hand towards her. "Come here, come and cry it out."
The purr of his voice made Saphira want to smile, but she did not. She stumbled over to his open palm, and he brought her closer. She was grateful for the gesture as he pulled her close to hug her, and she was able to wrap her arms around his neck a little. She sobbed softly before shifting to lean her cheek in the crook of his neck, the warmth radiating of his body engulfed her and she felt herself relax while she let the tears out.
"Thank you, Optimus," Saphira said in a soft, gentle tone. "You being here has made me feel a lot better." She wipes the tears from her cheeks, glancing up at him as he rubbed her back gently with the tip of his fingers. "I know what I did was a reaction...I still feel bad for it. I've never actually hit anyone until now."
"It is okay, Saphira. Fowler understands completely, after all he is angry that you have been hurt. Physically, mentally and emotionally...and so am I." She looked up into his optics as he gazed back at her with something she did not recognize. Was it love? "You are so gentle...so humble...and brave..."
She shakes her head quickly. "I'm not brave, Optimus. I...I'm a coward. I run when...when I am in pain. I...am afraid of being hurt again Optimus. I...I am afraid...that...this..." She gestured to him and the room around her. "Will come crumbling down at any moment." The bot frowned slightly in concern upon hearing her words. "I am sure it sounds stupid...but...I will not be surprised if it does happen."
As disturbed Optimus was hearing what she said, he knew it was coming from a place of fear. He could see Saphira was brave, even if she could not see it herself. "Saphira, being brave does not come from being fearless. It never has." She rolled her eyes at him and folded her arms a little while leaning against him gently. "Nobody is ever absent of fear. Even I feel fear." She did not respond, though he could see she was listening intently to him. "Becoming a Prime was the most frightening thing I had to go through." That got her attention and she looked up at him with wide, surprised eyes. "Becoming a Prime has never been a matter of choice, but rather the actions and what is true within one's spark. Believe it or not, Megatron once wanted to become a Prime. He was bitterly jealous I was chosen by Primus to become a Prime."
Given she knew that Megatron and Optimus used to be close, that was understandable. She still would have thought becoming a Prime would be honourable though. "You didn't feel honoured that you were chosen to be a Prime?"
"Of course I was. Being a Prime has always been revered, Saphira. But..." Optimus looked away for a moment before looking back at her with a smile. "When fate stares you right in the face, it is a lot more frightening than you believe it is. When I was given the Matrix of Leadership, I was frightened. The Matrix holds the wisdom of my ancestors, and it has guided me throughout these years."