Chapter 32

                                    

                                          
Allo
so I've been updating less and less frequently because its been hectic the last few weeks; two of my best friends started dating and then one of my other friends shut us all out and I found out another one of my best friends self-harms so yknow its been chaotic but here is this 700-word update that I pulled out of my ass when I should be doing history homework, and studying for a maths test next week.
enjoy :)
                      
*11:30 AM, 26th of January 2015, Mancester*
Anne's POV:
My son has changed.
My son is not my son anymore.
Harry Styles is not Harry.
Harry is not Hazza.
He is not him.
He texted me at six-thirty last night that they were boarding the flight, and he would call me after he'd gotten to Sydney and unpacked. He also mentioned that a potential stunt with Kendall Jenner had been cancelled, and he didn't know why.
Modest is up to something, and I don't know what.
They're messing with my baby. They're making him sad, and lonely, and forcing him to hide all the emotion, all the trust, all the connection with the one person he truly loves more than anything in this world. And I hate them for it.
It feels like yesterday he came out. I wish I had reacted better. I wish I could go back, right now, and tell the fourteen-year-old him that I love him. That I would always be here. That it's okay for him to love girls, and guys, and anyone in between or outside of those. That he's my son, and I love him, no matter who he loves. That I don't expect anything of him other than being himself.
I wish I had supported him. I wish I had treated him better, and been nicer to Josh, and understood when he introduced me to Felicity that there's more than just gay and straight.
I wish I had been a better mum.
But that was then, and this is now. 
I can still be a good mum now.
I can still try to protect him from Modest.
I can still be there.
Tugging my phone out of my pocket, I dial Louis' number. I knew they'd have to be in Sydney by now, and I needed to talk to him. Liam texted me some things that he thought I might need to sort out.
After the third ring, he picks up.
"Hey, Anne! How are you? Harry told me Robin's not doing too well."
"Hello, Lou! I'm good, and Rob's okay too, it was just the flu."
"Good to hear! I've missed you!"
"I missed you too Lou! How's your mum?"
"She's getting by. My sisters are a handful, but she makes it works."
I can hear the love in his voice. Louis adores Jay, and with good reason. She's the mum I wish I had been to my kids when they were younger.
"She always does. I actually rang for a reason, Lou..."
"Oh, am I not important enough for social calls, Anne?" He jokes.
"Of course you are, Lou. But not this time."
"What's wrong, Anne? This is about Harry, isn't it?"
I sigh, already wishing I didn't have to say what I was about to say.
----------------------
Louis' POV:
"Are you breaking up with Harry?"
Of fucking course. I'm going to murder Liam when I get my hands on him, he better pray to god that Zayn stops me first.
"Anne, I really-"
"Answer the question." she returns harshly.
"I... yeah."
"Why?"
"Because he needs to be happy."
She sighs once more on the other end of the line.
"He's happier with you, louis. You make him happy."
"But he needs to be happy without me, because Modest is destroying him. From the inside out. And it's all because of me."
"Louis, you can't blame yourself-"
"I'm the only one at fault here, Anne. I love you, and I love Harry, but I have to go."
"Okay, Louis, I love you too. But don't make a decision you'll regret."
I swallow the lump in my throat.
"It's too late for that."
I press the red circle, feeling like I was going to collapse or throw up or cry, or all three.
I choose collapse and cry, pulling my pillow to myself as I fall onto the bunk. 
Where I'm sleeping.
Without him.
                    
UMMM
IK ITS SAD
DONT MURDER ME
be prepared, next chapter is either about zayn's ED or Larry break up, i'm undecided, but either way it will probably be sad.
i wrote this listening to Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi, Brother by Kodaline, Dear Patience by Niall, and  Try Losing One by Tyler Brayden.
I am now crying alone in my room over two boys who dont know i exist, live on another continent, and are twice my age.
a day in the life of a larrie.
all the love
~perzon