I sighed glancing at the numbers that read on my alarm clock. It was only 3:56am. Still Saturday. The break up was still a reality.
I turned my nose up in disgusted as I glanced around my messy room. Two cups of finished Ben & Jerry's laid on my desk and enough tissues to treat all those who watched the end of The Notebook were littered all over my bedroom floor.
I was a mess, emotionally and physically.
My first thought was to get out of bed despite the early hours of the morning. I wouldn't have to worry about waking anyone up because Grace and Carmel had gone up to Grace's parents house a few hours away for the weekend.
They left after I got home in my cab. I told them I wasn't feeling well- which wasn't technically a lie.
I did however leave out the breakup but. I didn't want them to fret over their teenage daughter's love crisis when they could be spending time with my grandparents. They sent me to my room with hot soup and a bag of Halls.
The light from the washroom was too bright for my sensitive, stinging eyes.
My reflection was a pain to look at. The bags under my eyes were darker than the violet sweater that hugged my body. I don't know why I was wearing it.
It was his.
My eyes were a light shade of rose reminding me of that time I got pink eye in the third grade.
Upset was an understatement.
"Fuck my life." I said picking up a brush from the counter, putting my hair into a makeshift ponytail.
I peered across the hall to see my phone screen still lit up. Michael had texted me every hour but I didn't bother checking them. This time, I did.
11:13
Michael: Baby, please answer me. I need to work this out with you.
12:19
Michael: Kit, you're awake. You never fall asleep before one on a Saturday. Please talk to me.
12:58
Michael: Kit?
12:59
Michael: Please Kit.
1:15
Michael: Maybe you did fall asleep. I hope you have time to consider speaking to me.
1:16
Michael: I'm an asshole and I don't deserve it but I really hope you grant me this opportunity.
2:58
Michael: I can't sleep. I keep thinking about the fact that I hurt you. I'm so fucking dumb, Kit.
3:11
Michael: Fuck. I'm so stupid. I can't believe I did this to you. You don't deserve this shit. I'm in pain right now but I fucking deserve. I'd do anything to take it back. I'm sorry, baby.
8 Texts
12 Voicemails
I couldn't listen to them. It'd hurt to hear his voice. I'd go running back to him and that wasn't something I wanted.
I scrolled through them three times without reason. It hurt me more.
It said I still had one message. Probably from one of my moms.
Shockingly, it was from someone I didn't need shit from.
10:58
Calum: :)
The asshole. I don't even know how his number got into my phone but he has the nerve to express his happiness to this situation? Fuck. Fucking hell, this was not easy.
I hate this world
I hate this world
I hate it.
My back slid down the wall of my bathroom until I hit the tile. I was crying again. Another bloody breakdown.
I wanted to hold back more tears but I couldn't.
Everything seemed so fake and suspicious. I thought I had found someone who genuinely cared for me as a person. Guess it was just for laughs.
What was I to Michael? A joke? A scam for pocket money? What the fuck was this.
God dammit.
As my hand reached out for the roll of toilet paper to take off the fresh year stains off my cheeks, my phone rang.
Michael.
My shaky hand reached over to my phone in hesitance. This needed to be done.
"Hello?" My hoarse voice ran through the room.
"Kit? You're awake?" He said. His voice sounded worse than mine.
I nodded my head knowing damn well he couldn't even see me.
"I- I fucked up ok. I had this really long speech but I forgot it when I heard your voice." He shakily said into the phone.
"Michael. Don't call me again. This isn't good. I hope you get to sleep."
"Ki-"
And that was that.
//
It's a short update but I'm not in the best mood. Goodnight. ♡
-Hayley
