XLIV

                                    

                                          
Eddy shut the front door behind him and placed his grocery bags next to Brett's. 
"Brett, there is no need for you to tell me anything. I just... I had a hunch and wanted to talk to you about it. But I totally get, if it's not something you want to share." He was leaning with both hands on the table and looked at Brett through his lashes.
Brett sank more into the chair he was sitting on and avoided Eddy's gaze. 
"Ever since I got sick, I feel like you have to do all the work", Brett said after a long while, "and I kind of feel... well, useless."
Eddy nodded once. "And why, do you think, is that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" 
Eddy shrugged. 
"And are you my therapist now or somethin'?" The thought amused Brett and a smile was dancing on his lips, despite the situation. 
"I can be, if that's what you need", Eddy answered with a smirk and sat down opposite Brett. 
"Isn't there like a rule that you can't treat people you know as patients?" 
"I'll make an exception for you", Eddy winked. 
"Alright!", Brett sighed and took a leap, "I don't like to do nothing!"
"I know that."
"And I hate being tied down."
"Figures."
"And I don't want you to do too much just because I can't."
"I'm not, don't worry."
"Well, I guess that's why I sometimes throw myself into work."
"Okay. That makes sense. But is that really a good enough reason to put yourself in danger for?", Eddy asked softly, took Brett's hand and brushed his thumb over the back of it, like he knew what Brett would say next would be the core of it all. Like he assumed this was where it could get ugly.
Brett stared at him. He deliberated about his next words and tried to concentrate on this wondeful hand holding his, grounding him, giving him warmth and security. 
Would Eddy think lesser of him, if he'd tell him the truth? Because it wasn't exactly something Brett was proud of. 
He took a deep breath and started: "I guess... I guess I might define myself over the work I do. And if I can't do anything, I feel worthless."
Eddy held his hand so tight it almost hurt. "Brett, you know that's not true", he whispered and his eyes were so sad Brett feared tears would start to appear within the next blinks or so.
"No need to be upset about it", Brett said, matter-of-factly, "Isn't it kind of normal too? Everyone defines their worth over something other than themselves. Money, girls, fame..."
"Way to go philosophical", Eddy chuckled, "Maybe it is... But it's very important now, that you don't do that."
"I can't just turn it off."
"I think you should try..." Another light brush with Eddy's thumb over his hand. Brett shivered slightly. 
"Eddy...", he let out a frustrated breath, "I don't think I have any energy left for working on my character or something... If you haven't noticed by now, I'm busy staying alive at the moment!" 
An advantage of being sick, one could use that to win an argument. Maybe it wasn't an honorable move, but Brett wasn't so stupid to not use this ace.
He should have known, that it wouldn't work on Eddy though.
"I know you don't, but if you define yourself over something you cannot do, cannot achieve at the moment, it will kill you."
"Now you're overreacting."
"I'm not. I know you!" Eddy had those serious eyes again, which had been appearing much more regular since Brett had gotten sick.
"You'll continue trying, you'll fail and stuff like today will happen again if you won't take your doctor's and best friend's advice, and probably the whole world's if people would know how you're really doing. And then you'll feel worthless all over and get depressed, you'll throw your self esteem out of the window and then you'll be an emotional and physical wreck and it'll take you an eternity to recover!"
Brett had always been certain Eddy knew him well. How could he not with all the time they had spent for almost half of their lifetimes? But this little speech now just showed him how much he'd underestimated his best friend in terms of the deep understanding he had towards Brett's character. Because what Eddy had just described was probably an exact prophecy of Brett's near future if he would be so dumb to not change anything as soon as possible, as he now realized. 
"Wow... Way to sugarcoat it, bro."
"If I would, you wouldn't listen." 
True again... Damn Eddy's superpower of knowing everything about Brett Yang. Brett sighed and squeezed Eddy's hand, more a spur of the moment thing than a conscious decision.
"You're right!", he finally admitted, "I try to not do that anymore."
"What? The 'doing stuff that get's you in trouble' or the 'defining yourself through your work'-thing?", Eddy asked, a smirk playing on his lips. A victory smirk, which Brett loved and hated at the same time. 
"What do you think?", he hissed and withdraw his hand, "Both I guess! You've won in every category! Happy?"
Eddy laughed. "I'm just taking care of you, Bretty."
Brett smiled. "I know. Thank you! Also for this talk... I know stuff like this sucks."
"I actually like being a therapist! Wouldn't I thrive doing something like this?" Eddy leaned back and crossed his arms in a poised manner, creating an even more radiating image. Brett had to try very hard to not stare at him longer than a normal friend would in this situation.
Luckily, he caught himself soon enough for a deadpan answer: "Nah! You'd tell all their secrets to everyone and break some law or something."
"Not true!", Eddy exclaimed, "I'm great at keeping secrets!"
"Yeah? Everytime you plan a surprise, I know even before you know. You're like an open book!"
"It's just because it's you! No one else knows me that well!"
Brett's features softened before he said: "Well, same goes for you! You really got me with that defining worth over my accomplishments-thing, huh."
Eddy smiled. "Yup! I know you best, you bet! And I also know, what's best for you, as we've established many times these past couple of weeks," Brett rolled his eyes at that. "so you better listen to me." 
"I will, mum", Brett said and just turned away fast enough to not get slapped on the side of his head by the other. 
"Okay! So since we've sorted that out", Eddy said, got up and walked to the kitchen, "I'm gonna make us lunch! You, need to eat, mate!"
"Alright, mum." 
Eddy stuck his tongue out at Brett and the other laughed, feeling a million times lighter than he had this morning.