|| Sincerely, Jimin || (Ending 3)

                                    

                                          
The epic story of tomorrow can't be 
written if it ends today.
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Jimin ran out of the building, not wanting anyone to follow him, not expecting as well. He made it clear that he wanted to have time by himself, to think about everything. 
He took a taxi to the Han river. As he got out of the car and made his way to the bridge, he took a deep, deep breath, and slowly let it out. And again.. and again, until he felt like he had calmed down from his attack. He closed his eyes, and enjoyed the sound of the heavy wind, moving the waves back and forth. If you haven't figured it out already, Jimin hated loud noises, but he really loved calm noises. Like the sound of rain droplets falling on the ground, air, and waves moving against each other. He felt relaxed at places like these, that's why he was now.
He smiled softly, opening his eyes. He looked up to the sky -a lovely midnight blue color with white stars all over, and a pretty round moon- everything was so perfect. How the sky color had different shades, how the stars were fairly seen because of how dark it was, and how the moon was a perfectly round circle. It looked like a painting, had night skies always looked this beautiful? Or does Jimin only concentrate on sunsets? Well, he knew for a fact that he loved nature. He loved the sky, with all the pastel magical colors it shows. Seas and oceans, and how deep and mysterious they can get. Forests, trees and minnie ponds located there. The world was just to perfect, too perfect that Jimin sometimes to doubts if he even deserves to live in it. How could such beauty contain such disappointment? He thought.
The boy sighed, taking out a notebook and a pen from his waist bag -yes, we'll pretend I mentioned that he had one earlier- and flipping open a few pages, till he reached an empty one, and started writing.
So uhm, I don't know what I'm doing right now, but this had to be done anyway. Living in the dark side of the world, I realized family wasn't forever. I had to leave my family all the way at Busan at a young age to start my career here, at Seoul. I had to give up some important thing in my life to start new ones. It was hard at first, because I wasn't the kind of person to easily make friends, or at least start a conversation, but what's worse is that I can very easily trust people. I guess I was stupid. I was very stupid to trust anything that's told to me and anyone who said he loved me. I have to say, accepting your red flag is a good thing, but what if you're all red flags? One of the things I hated growing up, being in this society, was my personality, and somehow it's my favorite thing about my self as well. I never thought laughing could be considered grabbing attention. I never thought being exited was loud and annoying. I never thought crying could be considered pick me, wanting to be pitted. I never thought this world would be this cruel... But sometimes I wonder, everyone seems to be having a great life, so what If I'm the problem? Would the world be completely perfect if I wasn't there? We'll I'll never know, because, well, I won't be there. Sometimes I just have to take a wild guess, and do what's in my heart. But this time, my heart and my mind are telling me thale same thing: do it. It's one of those rare situations where the answer is clearly Infront of me, but I just refuse to take it. This time, I will though. But first,bI would like to thank my family for raising me then supporting me with my dream. I would like to thank, and apologize to, inyeop, for being the only person whom I felt home with. I'm very sorry it has to end like that, I love you, if you're reading this. I had the greatest time of my life with you. You helped me so much. I know you won't ever forgive me, but please respect and understand my decision, like you always do. And  maybe if I'm lucky, you won't be mad at me as well. And for my other members, I want to thank you too. We had our great memories aside from the bad ones. The memories we had, will never be replaceable, they'll always stay in my heart. But they hurt. They hurt my heart. It hurts how I know for a fact that we can't make any new ones, that I'll just have to keep the old ones, and cry silently. Remembering these sweet moments, I start tearing up. Because how much I love them, how much I love you, bts. So I try to forget, I try to distract myself from remembering thoes best moments. I can't keep doing it when I know it hurts me. I think I lived better, thoes last few days, without them, the memories. They hurt me, they said words I never thought could come out of their mouths. I never once regretted being a part of bts, but if I go back in time, to when I saw them for the first time, I'll turn around and walk the other way. Now that we're not seeing eachother like we used to, I realized I don't want to re-live these memories. I just want to let them know, I loved them. I loved them and will always continue to. Once you love someone, you can't simply un-love them. Especially when you lived half your life's together. No one took their place in my heart, however it's not available for them anymore. I'm just left with a hole in my heart. I still care about them though, I never figured out why, but I get the urge sometimes to call them, make sure they're healthy, eating well, happy, and practicing without overworking. So, I guess that's it, huh? To whoever finds this note, if found, please pass it to the people mentioned. Lastly, I realize now that I'm not the problem, nor the world, it's the timing. I'm perfect, the world is perfect, but the timing is wrong. I wasn't meant to live in this society, this time, this generation, I don't belong here. I never found happiness where we are, and it didn't find me either. So I'll just look for happiness somewhere else, away from the judgemental stares and the mean comments. And maybe it's better if I'm not here. I'm not doing this because I'm sad, well, mostly isn't, but because I think it's meant to be, it's my fate. I think I was never meant to be here. I think I'll be better off dead. And who knows, maybe in another life, we'll be good together. Please take care of yourselves. I may be not here but I'm always with you. I just can't take care of you, so please, make sure you're alright. I guess the pain will never leave, it will transfer to someone else. And as the book ends, so does my life. 
Sincerely, Jimin.
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The water surrounds him from everywhere, some even getting in his lungs. But he doesn't resist. It's finally happening, an attempt is finally succeeding. All he ever wanted in his life, which was ending it, was now happening. He feels a little bit of pain before it goes away. Everything goes away. The pain of water in his lungs, the pain of falling and hitting the river's ground, and most importantly, the pain in his heart. Everything is gone. He's gone. 
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You make a difference; You matter. You were created for a reason. If you weren't there, nothing would've happened the way it did. Think about what you could've done. Think about the dreams you couldn't reach, the things you didn't have time to try. All the old things you could've fixed, the new memories you could've made. Think about how you won't have the chance to see your future self, praise it, and tell it how much you're proud of it. Even if you hadn't done much, even if you hadn't done anything, you should still be proud that you're fighting. That you're there. Think about all the people you could've influenced, all the friends you could've made. Think about all the decisions you had the power to control. What would you be without you? 
Think about others, who would be nothing without you. If you aren't there anymore, or if you weren't even there to begin with. Your loved ones that you were happy to help. Your family that told you constantly how great you were doing. How you proved them right, and made them proud. -- Your family that didn't even care about you. How they always told you to quit cause you'll never make it. Think about how you could've proved them wrong. You're best friends and how much you affected them. Think about  how they'd be without you. A lot of things would've happened differently of you were never there. A lot of things will happen differently if you aren't there anymore. What will the world be without you? 
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IM NOT CRYING, YOU ARE. PLEASE OMG I LOVE THIS CHAPTER. I LITERALLY LOVE WRITING ANGST SO MUCH. ANYWAYS, JIMIN DOESN'T DESERVE THISS.
Jim-out.