08 August 2022
No more fighting spirit
Ever be exhausted emotionally, physically and mentally?
To say I'm tired would be me trying to make how I feel sound better. I'm not tired, I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted and I have no more fighting spirit left in me.
Ever feel like all you were born for was to feel pain? When your happiness last for only two minutes? When all you ever experienced is pain, pain?
When nothing seems to be getting better? When all you ever prayed for seems to be fading? When you have no more fighting and praying spirit? When all you say is "God I'm done, do what you want to do, ndonele"?
When what keeps you going seems to be fading? When you feel like you are losing yourself again?.
Ever pray to God, telling him to free you from pain, before you do it yourself? When you feel like God enjoys making you a laughing stock? When you're exhausted and can't take it anymore?.
When your heart, mind and soul is about to leave you? When you know you're at your breaking point and there's no turning back.
It hurts being a woman, it hurts being a mother. It hurts having no support system. uThixo akakhathali na yena? Akakhathali ukwenza umntu intlekisa? Akakhathali ukuzwisa umntu ubuhlungu🥺?
uThixo akakhathali na yena? Akakhathali ukukubona ukhala each and everyday begging him to heal you? Begging him to free you from all the pain and sufferings. Akakhathali ukuzwa isililo umcela mihla nezolo to help you heal?
Akakhathali ukuzwa isililo umcenga akhulule ingane kwizintlungu? Akakhathali ukuzwa umcenga aphilise ingane? Bawo Akakhathali na yena?
When you have no more fighting spirit in you but just a broken soul beyond repairs.
