~8~

                                    

                                          
Tw panic attack, anxious thoughts
SapNap pov
After I got off the phone with Karl I went into the guest room. 
I started clearing it out I started by changing the bed sheets and pillow cases. 
I cleared out the closet that was full of boxes and put the boxes I put the boxes into the hallway to deal with later. 
I start cleaning and wiping down other surfaces in the room such as the desk the shelves and any other surfaces I could find. 
I set up a chair in the room at the desk and started sorting through the smaller things in the closet. 
In the closet on the top shelf were a bunch of smaller full boxes. 
In those boxes I found a bunch of photos and memories that I desperately wanted to get rid of. 
I started looking through the boxes. 
I pulled out a bunch of family photos. 
Then I found some pictures of me and my old friends. 
I kept digging through the boxes. 
Why did you keep these?
I ask myself. 
If I'm being honest I don't know why I kept them I desperately wanted these memories gone. 
I didn't want to remember any of this anymore. 
I try to put everything away but I stop at one particular photo. 
It's me and my siblings. 
We look happy. 
I was happy. 
We were happy. 
What changed?
I keep that photo and put away the rest. 
I take the boxes and out them in the kitchen still undecided about what I want to do with them. 
I look at the time 10:36am 
I go back to my room and lay on the bed. 
I start scrolling through TikTok to pass the time. 
———— time skip it's now like 4pm 
After a while of scrolling through TikTok I see my computer light up. 
I hear a ringing come from it not long after. 
I get out of bed but I stand up too quickly. 
I feel dizzy. 
I sit on the floor for a few seconds before trying to get up again. 
I look at my hands. 
They're shaking a lot. 
I can't control it. 
I try to stand up again. 
I manage to get up but I feel even dizzier. 
I walk over to my computer to see who's calling. 
Dream 
I answer the call and sit down immediately. 
"Took you long enough."
"Sorry I was doing something." 
"It's all good. Want to stream?" 
"Uhhh I guess but I might have to leave at some point."