Chapter 79: Remus is a Flower Nerd Like Roman

                                    

                                          
CW: guilt
Remus quietly closed Roman's door as he left the room. "Well, he's gonna take a nap, then I'll get him some lunch later," he told Janus.
The shifter nodded as they started to make their way back to Remus's room. "I practically forced Virgil to go to bed, I think he was up all night."
"Then he's not gonna be waking up anytime soon."
"Nope, I hope not, anyway. He's... gonna need some time to himself. He's gonna be all messed up about all of this, I think he blames himself."
"Well, he really wasn't made for this life. Growing up with a stable roof over his head, believing everything will be alright because his parents were supposed to have his back. Guess his whole world was turned upside down."
"Yeah, that's for sure. But I don't think it was just that. He's always wanted to help others, and he's rarely ever needed help himself. And now that he does, the people that are helping him are getting hurt. People he cares about. He's going to be blaming himself."
"When the person he should be blaming is Black."
"Oh I'm sure he will eventually." Janus pushed the bedroom door open and made their way to the bed, sitting down on the edge. "But all I care about right now is that he'll be okay. Both physically and mentally."
"Well he's fucked on both accounts right now. But... with time that will change. We just have to wait. So let's distract ourselves until then. I have yet to come up with a code name for you, ya know."
Janus folded their arms. "I noticed. So... what flower will you assign me to?"
"Hmm... well the gladiolus represents strength but..."
"The name is a no."
"Exactly. Peony represents honor, romance, and beauty."
"I don't think I want to be named peony."
Remus shrugged. "Fair. I think we have a Peony anyway. Oh! A protea flower represents diversity and change!"
"But the name..."
"We could call you PT! Or Pro. Or Tea. Their nickname is sugarbushes." Remus shimmied his shoulders.
"Are there any other flowers that represent change?"
"Sure, tulips, daffodils, and pansies are a few."
"Daffodils? Is that how Daffodil got her name?"
"Oh yeah, she was there at the beginning. Plus... she joined a gang in the first place after she was kicked out from her house. Transphobic parents and all. Ugh."
"That's what happened?"
"Yeah. They were fine with her dating girls because they'll never see her as anything other than a boy." Remus shivered. "I hate it."
"I guess being trans is more acceptable when you're a shapeshifter. Especially since you don't have to deal with transitioning. My father was pretty accepting. But then again, I changed my gender on instinct even as a toddler. And he didn't really have time to worry about it so..." Janus shrugged.
Remus frowned. "What about aster?"
"Aster?"
"Well, originally they mean 'star' but... they also mean loyalty."
"I feel like that's more fitting for Virgil..."
"I don't know, I say you're pretty loyal. You're constantly taking care of Virgil, and before then, you were loyal to your gang. Then we met and... Something tells me while you were being tortured, you didn't tell Black anything."
Janus hugged themself. "There really wasn't anything I could tell him. I made him think I had good information, just so he wouldn't kill me."
"If you had any good information, would you have told him?"
"I don't know... I like to think I wouldn't have. I was terrified though."
Remus placed his hand on their shoulder. "Well, I have faith in you. I'm sure you wouldn't have."
Janus smiled. "Aster... I like it." It's a name to live up to. And they'll live up to it. "Where'd you learn all of these flower meanings again?"
"Oh, our mother owned a flower shop and would help make bouquets with the perfect meanings. We helped her as much as we could."
"That's sweet. What does dandelion mean?"
"New life, especially after a harsh winter. I guess... getting out of Black's hand was a sort of rebirth for Virgil, so it's a good name."
"Hopefully that means Virgil will have a good life after all of this is all over."
"Yeah... not without scars. But Roman's not gonna let him down. He's gonna make sure everything turns out alright. And I will too."
"I hope so. For Virgil, and all of us, I hope it all turns out alright."
~~~
The room was dark when Virgil's eyes fluttered open, and his body felt stiff. He tried to push himself up, but the sudden pain from his ribs made him stop. He had hoped he would get used to that, but clearly not.
He pushed himself on his side so he wasn't on his stomach anymore, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed as he sat up, but not yet getting out of bed. Where would he go if he did anyway? There's nothing for him to do.
He was hungry, the only thing he had eaten since lunch from the day before was a few pretzels from the hospital. Gods... the hospital... Anna's still there and still in pain all because of him.
But also because of Black. Mostly because of Black. Although Virgil was to blame, he wasn't the one that shot her. He wasn't the one that told others to shoot her. Black did that. Black was to blame. It was his fault. He wanted this, he wanted worse. He wanted her and Roman dead.
But Virgil wasn't innocent either. He shot someone... He killed someone. That person was far from innocent, but he had no right to kill anyone. Didn't change the fact that he did. Black was also partially to blame for that, it wouldn't have happened if people hadn't been sent after them. Every little thing that has gone wrong, Black was partially at fault. 
Virgil killed someone, and he has to learn to live with that. It wasn't planned out, he didn't mean to kill them, only to get them to stop killing everyone else. Virgil didn't try to kill Black the night the factory was destroyed. Was that because he was too afraid to have blood on his hands? Well... that fear was useless now. Except, this time, instead of it being an accident, it will be planned.
After that... he'll find some way to make sure Anna will be okay. And once he's sure that she is... he'll turn himself in to the police. It's what he deserves for all of the deaths his creations have caused. For the person he killed... For the ones he will kill. He'll do this for Anna, for Janus, and for Roman.