Chapter 76: Hey The Original Plan Was So Much Worse

                                    

                                          
CW: hospital, blood, detailed panic attack from the person's perspective (broken thoughts, disconnected with reality), guilt, talk of permanent paralysis
Everything felt numb, and Virgil wasn't even hurt. At least, he didn't think he was. He had no idea how they got to the hospital, or how long they had been there. It felt like his brain had simply rebooted, and now that he was starting to become aware of things again, he first felt numb.
Then he realized how badly breathing hurt his side. It felt like every breath he took, he was swallowing cotton and needles that suffocated him and tore up his throat at the same time. He wasn't getting enough air, but the air that he was breathing felt like poison and made him hurt so much more.
As some more time went on, Virgil realized that his back hurt. He was sitting hunched over, his elbows on his knees and his hands folded out in front of him. Where were they? The air smelled like chemicals and blood. The chair was hard and uncomfortable. The silence was deafening. His chest was screaming in pain but he wasn't moving to ease it. He couldn't move. He can't move.
His eyes were looking down, where a white tiled floor met a white wall. Occasionally someone walked past. Occasionally there were voices. Aside from that, everything was still.
Until something touched his arm, burning his skin. He jerked back and smacked it away, his breath getting caught in his throat and his eyes burning with tears. Cautiously he looked up and saw a familiar face- Janus. It was just Janus.
"Virgil, hey, it's okay," they softly said.
Nothing felt okay. Virgil's skin burned and it felt like a million things were crawling all over him. It was hard to breathe, but he still took deep breaths, tears filling his vision, clearing as they dripped down his cheek, only for his vision to be blurry again. He looked down at his hands to see them stained pink, blood in the cracks of his skin.
Anna's blood. She was shot. There was so much blood. They're at the hospital.
"What happened?" Daffodil asked, coming closer. Wasn't she just sitting next to him? Yeah, they were waiting together. Remus was behind her, when did they get here? He looked worried, his hands were shaking.
Virgil's hands were also shaking.
"I think he's having a panic attack," Janus said, though it was muffled to Virgil's ears and so loud at the same time. 
He pressed his hands against his ears, shaking and still covered in blood even though someone had tried to clean them. When did that happen? How did he get here?
Remus and Janus were there, were they called? Remus must be here for Roman. Roman was also shot. He was shot and so was Anna and it was all Virgil's fault because he pissed off Black. If he just did whatever the genie had asked, then this wouldn't have happened. If he never became a mole, if he never fought back. If he had just stayed!
And now Anna was dying. Was Roman also dying? He lost a lot of blood. They both did. Virgil should have protected them. Anna's scream still burned in his ears, Roman's weight was leaning against Virgil's shoulder, he could still feel it.
Something wrapped around his shoulders, but it wasn't heavy. It burned nonetheless and he let out a sob as he curled up. Whatever was around his shoulders was pulled tighter, making it seem heavier, and even though it felt like it burned, it was reminding him where he was.
He's in the hospital. Roman and Anna were taken into rooms. The doctors were helping them. They could still die. But they have a chance now.
Hands grabbed his wrists and Virgil wanted to fight back, but a stronger part of him just wanted to stay curled up as he cried. The hands pulled his own back.
"Virgil, breathe, it's going to be okay," a soothing voice told him. He opened his eyes again- when had he closed them shut? Janus was still there, holding a jacket around him tight with two hands, and two more hands that belonged to them were holding his wrists. They looked funny with four arms- Why was he thinking that?! He could lose everything!
Janus shifted their grip so they were holding Virgil's hands, rubbing a thumb in one palm, and another rubbing against his knuckles. It was burning his skin, but slowly the pain eased.
Virgil took a shaky breath, more tears spilling out from his eyes. "I-I-" he tried to speak.
"It's okay, don't speak, just catch your breath."
"I'm sorry!" he sobbed, and Janus pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
"No, Virgil, you did nothing wrong. It's okay, you're okay."
"No, no, I-" There was still blood on his hands. The smell was nauseating. His hands were empty but he could feel the cold outline of a gun. There's blood on his hands. Not just Anna's. He killed someone. He shot someone. He's a murderer.
It was in self defense. He knows that. Some part of his head screamed that but it was useless. He had a gun in his hands and he shot someone. They shot Anna. The gun he had used had shot Roman. There was so much blood.
Remus hugged himself tight, watching as Janus tried to comfort Virgil. Sal had a hand on his shoulder, and the weight of it was the only reason he wasn't freaking out too. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to do this again. But he was told Roman was shot in the arm, it could have been much worse. Anna was shot in the stomach.
"I'm sorry," Sal whispered, too quiet for Virgil and Janus to hear. "I should have protected them."
Remus put a hand on hers, shaking his head. "I know you did what you could. It would have been worse if you weren't there."
A doctor came over, her heels clicking against the cold white tiles. "Remus Hunt?"
"Yeah?" he responded.
"You're brother's awake, though he's under medication. Would you like to see him?"
Remus nodded, and she turned to lead him to the room. Janus glanced over, but he waved his hand. They need to stay with Virgil for now.
Janus watched Remus hold onto Sal's hand as they walked away. She'll help him, he needs someone to be there with him. Just like Virgil needs a familiar friend.
Eventually Virgil's sobs were starting to quiet down. Janus had sat down next to him, still holding him in a hug. Hours passed by, and Virgil fell asleep, tears still covering his face. His breathing was still shaky, but that was to be expected.
Another doctor, a different one, finally walked towards them. The outline of a mask was on their face, they must have just finished a surgery.
"Virgil Noble?" they asked.
"Over here," Janus said, slightly shaking Virgil awake.
The dragon blinked his eyes open, looking up at Janus and then the doctor. Janus felt Virgil grab their hand, squeezing it tight.
"Mr. Noble. Your sister's surgery is finished, and as of now, she's in stable condition."
"Oh thank the gods," Virgil cried, leaning against Janus again. "Can-can I see her?"
"You may, however she is still asleep. And... Well during the surgery, we had to remove the bullet which had hit her spine. Before surgery, we had an emergency CT scan, and we saw that her spinal cord was damaged. We did what we could, and she'll live. But when she wakes up, she may have some form of paraplegia, paralysis of the lower body."
Janus glanced at Virgil, who had frozen. His eyes were wide and unseeing. "She..." he tried to speak, but he wasn't breathing.
"She may not be able to walk ever again."