XV

                                    

                                          
Troye
                          
22.03.15
                          
1:36 p.m.
                          
"I love you," he mouths to me. I freeze. I don't move. All my tears have dried up. Oh my God, he loves me? This is probably the best day of my life? I don't know. I love him too, but should I say it?
                          
Wait, but why does he love me? I didn't help him at all. I made him fall into this horrible black hole called the "Rose Mental Hospital" and made him a patient basically. I didn't help him at all. I made him miserable.
                          
"I love you, too," I mouth back, without thinking.
                          
"Why?" He asks. What does he mean by "why?" He should know why I love him. He helped me. And I'm not sure why he loves me since I didn't help him at all.
                          
"Why do you love me? I did nothing to you. All I did was get you put in here." I tell him. He sighs. He doesn't know.
                          
"I'll tell you later," he says as an excuse. "In person." I nod, kind of sad that he won't tell me now. But I get it. It's because he needs time to think about it and I won't make out most of the words that he says because we're only mouthing words to each other in the dark through cells. 
                          
3:34 a.m.
                          
I have still been thinking about earlier. I was thinking, also, why I love Tyler. It was easy, though, but I wanted more than just telling him that he made me happier.
                          
I wanted to tell him because he was going to tell me. And I didn't want to not tell him anything. I knew he would just be sad and disappointed in me. I told him I love him and I gotta give him a reason.
                          
23.03.15
                          
12:04 p.m.
                          
I finally wake up from the sound of shouting. I looked up, expecting it to be Nurse Jamison. It wasn't. It was my new nurse. She looked nice, but not pretty. She wasn't ugly, but she wasn't pretty.
                          
"Get up. It's lunch," she says in monotone. I get up and she handcuffs my hands together. What the fuck? I look at her like she is a crazy person. Then, she takes my arm and pulls me towards the elevator. I looked over to see if Tyler was in his cell, but he wasn't. Maybe he was already at the cafeteria?
                          
I was actually excited to see him, even though I couldn't. I knew we were going to find a way to talk. It was at lunch, I knew. But we had to be far from each other, so we needed to mouth words to each other. And I'm pretty good at finding out what he's saying.
                          
I got to the cafeteria two minutes later and expecting Tyler to be in our normal area, he wasn't. Maybe he was in the bathroom? I looked around at the nurses and tried to find Nurse Alyssa. And I did.
                          
I ran over to her. "Alyssa, do you know where Tyler is?" I ask her, hoping she has an answer.
                          
"I'm so sorry, Troye, but you know the rules. He's not suppo-"
                          
"I don't give a shit about the rules!" I scream. Everyone looks at me and I feel my cheeks heating up. "I-I just want to know where he is."
                          
"Well, he's not here. He might be in the bathroom? And remember, I'm not his nurse anymore, so I don't know anything." I nod, remembering yesterday. I then find my nurse and walk over to her.
                          
"Can I use the restroom?" I ask her. She nods and she takes me to the bathroom. She unlocks my handcuffs and she pushes me into the bathroom. She stands outside the door.
                          
"Tilly?" I call out. No reply. I look in every stall. Nothing. Then, I hear the door open. I look out and see a man who looked scared.
                          
"Y-You're from W-Ward X?" He stutters. I nod. I walk closer to him and he steps back. "P-Please d-don't hurt m-me."
                          
"I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm trying to find Tyler Oakley. Do you know him?"
                          
"A-Are you gonna kill him?"
                          
"N-No, I love him. Why would I kill him?"
                          
"Because you're a crazy person who goes out murdering people because of your disorder!" He screams. My eyes go wide and I step closer to him and he starts to scream a blood curdling scream.
                          
"HE'S GOING TO KILL ME! HELP ME!" He screams. The door opens, revealing a nurse with needles. It was his nurse, I think. She holds him and sedates him. He falls limp onto the ground. Then, I see my nurse who also has a needle. I look at her, watching her walk closer to me. I scream and run out of the bathroom.
                          
The first place I go to is Dr. Winston's office. I'm not sure why, but it was the closest place. I run into it and see no one in there. I lock the door behind me and arms come out and grab me.
                          
☼
                          
i've been crying so much bc i couldn't go to connor's book signing :(( also, someone on tumblr said troye is gonna be there?? but on his twitter, he said he was at home like ok
                          
i've been obsessed with troye's song, "make you love me" bc idk i wanted to hear it so i did and now i'm obsessed
                          
i'm literally listening to it rn omg
                          
chapter xv question:
                          
do you have any books by any youtubers? also, should i make a trailer for this story?
                          
social:
                          
instagram: @muketology @phntasia
                          
tumblr: @phntasia
                          
twitter: @tbhalpacas
                          
youtube: link in bio ( i make fanfic trailers for my fanfics )
                          
stay strong and ilyasfm xx
                          
-camille