Grif: Speech unit?
"Oh my god. Is he a robot?" Wash asked, startled.
"No, Wash. Don't be absurd. He's obviously a human trying to start a robot uprising." York said deadpan.
"C'mon, Wash, it's so obvious." North sighed, very disappointed in the rookie.
"I thought I taught you better." Carolina teased, suppressing a smile.
For a moment Wash believed them and panicked. But he remembered who his teammates were. "I hate all of you." He grumbled.
Everyone else just chuckled.
Donut: (handing the unit over to Sarge) Here you go.
Sarge: Affirmative. Command was fresh out of speech modules when I started building Lopez, but once I get this baby installed, I'll finally have someone intelligent to talk to. ...No offense, Simmons.
Simmons: Oh, don't worry, I know who you meant, sir.
Grif: Wait a second.. Lopez is a robot?
Simmons: Of course he is. You didn't notice that he never talks?
Grif: I just thought he was a really quiet guy.
Sarge: And the fact that he sleeps standing up and drinks motor oil didn't get your attention?
Grif: Well I-I did think the motor oil thing was a bit odd... Uh, I just thought he was trying to impress me.
"That reminds me of the time when this guy had tried to impress South and he ended up in the hospital. Remember that?" North grinned.
South threw her head back and groaned. "I was grounded for a month for that." She grumbled.
Niner grinned. "What did you do?"
South scowled and looked away while North grinned. "This boy had a crush on South in our sophomore year and South kept turning him down."
"He was weird and sneezed a lot. Besides, me and North were joining the Marines as soon as we finished high school. Not a great time to date." South groused.
North snorted at his sister's displeasure. "Anyway, he asked South what it would take to get her to go out with him and South sarcastically said that she wanted a coyote to keep as a pet. Don't ask me why she said that but he thought she was serious and next thing we knew police were at our door saying that a boy in the hospital had said that a 'bitchy girl with dyed hair' from school had made him go fight a coyote. His parents sued us and Mom and Dad grounded South for a month."
"Jeez. Was he okay?" Wash asked.
South rolled her eyes. "He was fine. He had a cut on his arm that needed a few stitches but he made it out like he almost had to amputate his arm. Weasley bastard." She grumbled.
"And how exactly is this funny?" York asked from his spot next to Carolina, his brow raised. And although Carolina tried not to show it, she was a little intrigued as well.
North chuckled at the memory. "He was gonna have his neighbor's big German shepherd bite him a little and give him a couple of scratches but their chihuahua got to him first." He laughed and South cracked a smile.
That got a couple of laughs out of everyone.
Niner snickered and shook her head. "It's always the little ones."
Simmons: Hey, sir. You really should ground yourself before handling that card.
Sarge: How come?