Truths and Questions Tony's POV

                                    

                                          
CHAPTER FOURTEEN-TONY'S POV
                          
In the few silent moments that followed, I slowly realized that my plan of avoiding temptation was futile. Turning my back on Loki hadn't solved the most important factor that I hadn't accounted for: hypersensitivity. Loki's bony knees burned their existence into my back as I struggled to keep my composure. The heat continued to store itself between my shoulder blades, and I was sure my body couldn't take anymore. I wanted to lean away from Loki's legs in hopes of decreasing the intensity of the flames seeping into my muscles, but doing such a thing would compromise myself. I couldn't do that. It would inevitably make Loki even more curious, which in turn would result in an intense polygraph test that I wasn't sure I could pass.And Loki couldn't ever, ever, find out that I was gay. I subconsciously knew that his finding out had nothing to do with the taunting I would receive from the other students at school if he choose to sell his latest gossip on me. No, it wasn't the ensuing bullying that I would encounter that would shatter me. I could handle powerless idiots. What I couldn't handle was Loki's disgusted face or shunning form. My stomach muscles clenched at the thought. I wasn't sure if it was my ego that brought this reaction about. Maybe. It was reasonable that anyone who had a disciple would feel broken if such an admirer became disgusted with him, right? Well . . . maybe Loki wasn't a disciple, but he did have some level of admiration that I could just sense. He sometimes even proved the suspicion when he would look at something I did in wonder. Others just looked at me like I was an egotistical bastard—which I admit that I was—but he didn't. It was kind of nice.I didn't want that to end.The burning sensation was becoming almost unbearable now. I searched for something to take my mind off of it, after all, it could only be my imagination, according to the laws of thermodynamics. Piper's vile face popped in my mind. Well, I thought to myself, that's not exactly what I wanted . . . . It did give me an idea though. I took a sip of coffee as I formed the right words. Strained, I remarked aloud, "Crazy chick, huh?"I must have startled him, for Loki choked and said in what seemed like embarrassment a moment later, "So . . . how did you and sociopath. . . you know. . .?"Uh-oh, here we go. I set my coffee cup down beside me, settling in for a difficult conversation. I tilted my head back to look at Loki, resting my head on his knees. The heat increased rapidly. Stupid move, Stark, I enlightened myself. This seemed to have startled the frail-looking boy as well, judging from his deer-in-the-headlights look. I deliberated and replied to Loki through the fire, "Well. . . you see, it's kind of complicated."As if that would satisfy his sense of detail.Loki looked as if he was dying to know more, but afraid to ask. I fought to stay silent, so that the interrogation would end right then and there, but I couldn't resist giving the boy what he wanted. Not when he had that look on his face. Hesitantly I continued, "we met in middle school, about three years ago. She didn't use to be like this. She was actually. . ." I paused as her sweet, freckled-faced smile from what seemed like a distant memory came forth. I finished, "nice. Really nice. Then some things happened and we just. . . happened." I waved my hand in the air to signal finality. It wasn't even really a big thing. People dated on a whim all the time. Of course Loki would understand that, he wasn't stupid, so that should be the end of this conversation.But apparently I was wrong.A dark fire raged in Loki's eyes as he demanded mildly, "What things, Tony?" I didn't expect such—anger?—to emit from the boy. I stayed silent, much like a child in trouble would. I didn't know why I felt guilty, though. There wasn't anything between Loki and me, my past love life shouldn't anger him. But it did, and I didn't know why. The fire grew into an inferno, and I almost saw dark smoke spewing from Loki's eyes. Uh-oh. Loki asked more forcefully, "What things, Tony?" For some reason, his words felt like a slap to the face. My primal defense mechanism of "fight" instinctively kicked in. "None of your damn business," I snapped back at him, almost in challenge. Loki fumed silently before me, not picking up my hidden challenge. I took my head off of his lap and faced the room normally. He didn't say anything, so I didn't either. After a few minutes, Loki lied lightly, "Well, it looks like the weather's clearing up. . ." Even an idiot would be able to hear the snow was actually falling harder now. But I didn't call Loki out on his fib. I couldn't, honestly. It was like my body had frozen along with the world outside. Loki hinted, "I guess i should head home." He was waiting for a response that I couldn't give him, so I merely sat where I was. I heard him sigh and place something on the ground beside me—maybe his cup. Some sifting of close followed along with the slamming of the door. Loki had obviously left.I sank against the back of the couch like a lifeless doll and slept for what seemed like forever.