Thirty-nine

                                    

                                          
I wish I had done everything on this earth with you. - F. Scott Fitzgerald. 
Christian
I can't remember the last time I was this impulsive. What was I thinking, telling her I love her like this? I'm an ass. The girl just lost her father, her head is all over the place and she may choose not to go because of me. I sigh, and leave to my study with the intent to lock myself in there forever.
Every word was true, obviously, but I would never want that to impact her decision on leaving New York for a while. My phone rings. Thank God. It's the mayor. They're trying to develop a new security program to protect classified media from leaking to the press. With all the shit about Michael coming to light, all the criminals that are meant to protect this city want to cover their asses. It's nothing I can't handle, and I'm really welcoming the distraction. She's been on the balcony for about 20 minutes now, and I'm imagining she's going to come out here and tell me she wants nothing to do with me. 
The door to the study opens suddenly, and I try to read her expression. I want to say she looks excited, but right now she looks afraid that I'm on the phone and she's interrupting. "I'm sorry, I'll come back later." she whispers, and prepares to leave.
"it's nothing important, talk to me." I tell her, and pull the phone away from my ear. She glances at it, then shuts her eyes. "Christian is that the mayor?" I place my hand on her cheek and give her a small smile. "are you alright?" I ask her, and she nods. "I'm fine." she gets on her toes and smiles, before whispering in my ear. "I think I'm in love." I end the call abruptly and pull her into my arms before violently kissing her, which she returns wholeheartedly. My heart is racing. I can't fucking believe my heart is pounding like this over a girl. It can't be real. She loves a man like me? I'd better become worth it. 
"yeah? You love me?" I ask, and feel her smile against my lips. "how could I not? I couldn't believe I've never realized it. I guess I worried you weren't capable of loving me. I thought your program wasn't updated for that." I laughed and her hands slid up my chest. "hm, you going to break my heart?" I feel her smile.
"never. You've shown me the darkness in you. You've laid yourself bare in an attempt to send me running. But it didn't work. I love all of you. The broken, the black and evil, and all the parts I want to slap.  I just don't know how we're going to do this." she says, and I slowly pull away from her, a smile on my face. Her words are enough to make my heart race. "well, you know me well enough by now to know that I'm nothing without my plans and schemes." she sits on my lap and her hands wrap around my neck.
"oh yeah? A scheme sounds so romantic." I trace her smile with the pad of my thumb.
"Mia, you know I want you to do this. I want you to live, be free. Go out and experience the world like you dream of doing. This is your decision, but I want you to do it." she nods, and exhales a shaky breath. "but why won't you come with me? Will you still call?" she looks nervous, and I wish I could just keep her here in my arms forever.
"you have never needed me, sweetheart. Il mio guerriero. You are so strong it's almost scary. I've always admired you. You're extraordinary, and brilliant. It's time you show the world that. I know you're not dependent on me. You need to do this for yourself. Go, feel freedom and never let it go. I believe in you, you are the only thing on earth that is worth believing in." she doesn't look convinced. "I just don't want to be far away from you." a small frown in her face, causing a line in her forehead.
"you will never be far away from me, my love. I will communicate with you as much as I can without raising suspicion or drawing attention to it. It's for your safety, Mia. I would never willingly send you out into the world on your own if I didn't know it was safe for you, but that doesn't mean darkness doesn't still lurk in the shadows. You're a beautiful girl, people would kill to have you, so you have to watch your back." she nods, and I see her frown slowly dissipate. It's difficult to understand but she knows what I mean better than anyone. It may be easy for me to intercept other people's conversations, but I have no idea how easily other people can do it too. It would be absolutely blind if Mia and I spoke all day every day over the phone and people learned about our relationship. It would make her a target. People would use her to get to me. I've made my fair share of enemies around the world, which is why she will go everywhere under an alias. It's already been arranged.