The Seven Bells and The Bell Keeper

                                    

                                          

                            

                                
                            
                              
                                  
                              
                              
                                
                                  
                                  
                                
                              
                             
                            
                            
                          
                          
Several things have changed to allow Y/N a place in the story. Forgive any miss-information or non-cannon things.
Five let out a groan.
"Why?" He begged, trying to sit up from his place on the stove.
Soft snoring caught his ear, and he squinted until his vision cleared. 
You lay asleep in the sink, empty bottle still in hand. Your shoulders, neck, and thighs were covered in bites, making Five wince.
"What the hell did we get up to last night?..."
••
"Luther! Congrats. It's... It's a goddamn miracle, that's what it is."
"Yeah!" Five cackled as he slammed you down onto the counter, tearing your clothes off.
"I mean, did anyone here think that Luther, of all people would find someone to touch his pe--?..."
He poured bottle after bottle into his cereal while you gulped down a bottle next to him.
"I mean, the guy's a monkey virgin from space."
"Get on that pole, Y/N!"
"It's a... It's a hard match to make."
He stumbled down the hallway, hands tangled in your hair and your mouth on his neck.
"We're all... We're all thinking about it. It's the elephant in the room, buddy."
He stumbled to his feet, the taste of vomit still on his tongue.
"I wish you well. Happy-- It's not your birthday. Happy wedding day, my friend. Take care."
Viktor, Sloane, and Luther all looking disappointed as the clapped. Klaus looked proud, Lila and Diego looked drunk, and Ben looked like he wanted to kill himself. You were half naked standing on a table.
"There is no time. I can't do this without you. Do we have a deal?"
"Who the hell is he talking to?"
••
He groaned again, and looked back up at you, still asleep in the sink. The bottle suddenly dropped from your hand, and shattered as hit hit the ground, making you jolt awake. Almost immediately, your hands flew to your thighs as you groaned in pain.
"Ow!" You whined, tears in your eyes. "Five!" 
He rolled off the stove, stumbling to his feet. Your underwear was nowhere to be seen, and you decided you'd just have to live with it. He helped pull you out of the sink, before draping his jacket, which had been on the floor, over your shoulders.
Your legs are wobbly, and your head is pounding. You haven't been hung over in years. You grip the counter, letting out a groan. 
"I could go for some eggs..." you whisper.