Part 24

                                    

                                          
I quietly entered the room, which Jack had to himself. I couldn't help but gasp when I saw him laying there unconscious. He had bandages on his head and other body parts, his chest rising slowly, and bruises covering his body. It hurt me to see Jack looking lifeless, but I could only pray that he would overcome this. 
                          
I sat in the chair next to his bed and scooted in closer. My hands were shaking, not to mention my entire body. It set in that this could possibly the last time I would ever see Jack, I tried to push that horrible thought out of my head. I held Jacks cold hand with my trembling one and held it as tight as I could. 
                          
"Hi Jack, it's Lily, I'm here. When I heard the news I had to fly out here, the thought of you like this kills me. I need you to come back Jack, I never knew how much I needed you until now. You were always there when I needed you, like the Chase thing and after the whole pregnancy thing. You never abandoned me, even when I was with Nate. I understand now that my happiness meant most to you, and I'm so grateful to have a person who thinks of me like that. I am so in love with you Jack, and I know if you were awake to see this and hear me say those words, your eyes would be glimmering, your smile would be bigger than any other smile, and you would tell me that you love me too. I'm sorry it took me until now to realize just how deep my feelings are for you, I'm sorry for denying them and I'm sorry for leading you on even when I knew how you felt about me. I hate that it took me this long to catch on, but I want to be with you Jack. I'm willing to go the extra mile with you, despite the distance because I know we can work it out. I don't even know what I was afraid of, but those fears are nothing in comparison to how I feel now. With the possibility of losing you forever, when we haven't even began a relationship together. All I can say to you is that I will not give up on you, like how you never gave up on me. I need you to come back Jack, not just for me, but your family, friends and fans. I love you so much and I can't wait for the day I see your bright eyes gazing into mine and that iridescent smile that I love so much. I don't know whether that will be tomorrow, next week, next month or in heaven when we meet again. But you need to know that if you don't wake up, I will always, always be thankful for our friendship, your support, and your never ending kindness. I will keep myself going with the thought of what could have been, because I know it would have been something beautiful. I love you so much Jack and I only wish I had said these words sooner." I finished as my words got stuck in my throat. At this point I was a wreck, my body shaking and aching from crying so hard. I stood up and let go of Jacks hand as I kissed his forehead gently. 
                          
I stood there staring at him, waiting for some miraculous thing to happen like in the movies. However, that didn't happen. I gave Jack one more long look and headed out the room. It was a feeling like no other, watching the one you love most struggling to live. As I left, Jacks parents quickly consoled me as they made their way to see Jack again. I headed to the bathroom to wash my face, which resulted in me crying alone on the bathroom floor. It took minutes before I could collect myself and convince myself that I needed to see Sammy and have that talk with Nate. I took in a deep breath and headed to their recovery room.
                          
As I walked into Nate and Sams room I noticed Sam was in the bed closest to the door, sound asleep. Unlike Jack, Sammy was definitely going to wake up. I moved down the room to the second bed, which had a half asleep Nate, who's eyes shot open when he saw me.
                          
"You came all this way?" he asked smiling slightly. 
                          
"Yeah of course." I said smiling slightly as I took a seat next to Nate who looked great in comparison to Jack. 
                          
"You saw Jack." Nate said without question. I nodded.
                          
"I knew it would be him, it was all too perfect. You needed something like this to make you realize. I just wish it was me, I know I fucked up Lil, badly but I love you so much. You're the only one I've ever truly loved, we had something so special I can't even explain it but the feelings were so powerful they consumed me. Please don't do this to me." Nate said as his eyes filled with tears and I realized I was crying too. 
                          
I once loved Nate in the way he still loved me, where my feelings consumed every inch of my body leaving me aching for more. Things had changed between us and I knew in my heart and the deepest parts of my body that I no longer felt the way I once did. The reaction to the accident was completely different for Nate than it was for Jack. Obviously I was concerned for Nate as I was with Sammy, but not like how I felt with Jack. My heart didn't shatter in a million pieces like it did with Jack. I knew if I once felt the same way about Nate, he'd be the first one I'd rush to. 
                          
"Nate, I'm so sorry. It's not just that you hurt me, it's that you didn't pick up the pieces like Jack did. Jack wanted me to be happy even when I dated you, even when I had the miscarriage he called you because he knew I needed you. I just don't see you ever doing that, putting others before you. Hell you couldn't even handle me when I found out I was pregnant, you left! I loved you so much Nate, but it's different now, I'm finally seeing what I should have seen years ago." I said as I wiped the tears from my eyes.
                          
"Lily, I can change please, please." Nate begged as he grabbed my hand holding it tightly. 
                          
I shook my head "I can't Nate, it's always been Jack I was too blind to see it." I said removing my hand from his grip. Now Nate was crying, like I've never seen.
                          
"H-How am I supposed to find someone like you? I can't imagine not kissing those lips again, holding your tiny hand that fits so perfectly in mine, hearing your laugh, the touch of your bare skin against mine, the way you say my name, just all of it Lily. There's no one else for me but you." Nate said now shaking.
                          
"Oh Nate, I'm not the only girl out there. Do you understand how many girls would kill for a guy like you? You'll find someone who you'll fall in love with, even the smallest parts of them and their little quirks, I know you will. Don't waste your life comparing girls to me. I may have been your first love, but I know in my heart you will find another one." I said giving Nate a small smile as I wiped his tears away. 
                          
"Go to him." Nate whispered.
                          
"What?!" I exclaimed figuring this was his way of kicking me out.
                          
"Jack needs you now more than ever. He's a lucky guy for winning over the girl all the guys would kill to have. 
                          
"Thank you." I whispered as I kissed Nate's forehead, as I left I glanced over at Nate who looked like he was savoring that moment. 
                          
I headed back to the ICU to spend more time with Jack and his parents, hoping for news of improvement. 
                          
I reached Jacks room, and my heart completely shattered like it did when I heard he got into an accident. Jacks parents were nowhere to be seen, either was Jack as his bed was completely gone from the room. 
                          
....I was too late.