24: Getting closer

                                    

                                          
Eli POV.

I had been living with my brothers for over a month and at some point, time started moving really quickly, with school, music, and for the first time maybe ever, enjoying life. I hang out with my friends outside of school at their houses or the park, or even the mall. Jess showed me, where to find the best second-hand stores in the city, so we had been going to those a lot.

There was still a lot my brothers didn't know about me. They didn't know about what happened at camp, or the extent of my self-harm issue, and they had no idea about me being Young and Damned. I didn't really know why I didn't tell them. Maybe it was just fun watching them play and enjoy my music without them even knowing it.
The only people who really knew, were Mia, Carlos, and Diego, since Diego always made the cover photos for my songs. The latest one, the Devil In His Church Suit, had a white-on-black picture of a crying eye with the reflection of a man in a suit, with horns and a tail. I remember when Diego first showed it to me, I couldn't believe how incredibly talented he was.

I knew, that I'd have to talk to my brothers soon. It was starting to come around to the time of year when I knew I would lose my mind. It was the beginning of October, which meant that the anniversary of Carlo's death was getting closer. He passed away on the twenty-third, so I had nineteen days before the total collapse. 
The year before, I wasn't able to leave the house for a week. Everything around me reminded me of him, so I couldn't look around without wanting to cry. I starved myself, got back into drugs, almost killed myself, and eventually got evicted from the apartment I was living in. Carlos was suck a big part in my life and the reason I was still alive, so when he was gone, I didn't know how to function anymore


Matteo POV.

We were sitting at the lunch table even tho the two youngest boys had only woken up. Eli had been acting weird for a while. They didn't go on their usual morning run that day and they didn't want to cook with me. I made sure to cook something they'd like, but still, Eli hadn't even touched the food on their plate. We knew, that they had a problem with eating, but it had gotten so much better in the past two weeks. 
"Is everything okay?" I asked Eli. They were sitting right in front of me, so I tried to search their face for any clues as to what was going on in their mind. 
It took them a few seconds to process that someone had even spoken to them, and when they finally lifted their head, they looked around not knowing, where the sound came from.
"Are you okay?" I asked again, now getting the full attention of the boys.
"I'm fine," Eli just mumbled picking up their fork and pushing the food around, occasionally landing it in their mouth.
I didn't want to pry anymore, but we were all worried. I silently asked Alessandro what to do, but he looked just as clueless as me. I turned back to my food, hoping, that Eli would talk to us eventually.
"Could I go visit Diego?" they suddenly asked.
We all immediately turned to look at Alessandro, waiting for an answer.
He was deep in thought, and I could almost see the gears turning in his head. I knew he didn't want Eli to go back to Chicago, at least not alone, but other than that, what was happening in his mind was a complete mystery.
"Why do you suddenly want to go back to Chicago?" Gabriele asked confused over the whole situation.
Eli looked down at their lap and took a few deep breaths. After each one, it looked like they were about to start talking but then decided against it. Finally, they shook their head violently as if to get rid of a bug on their head and explained: