72. Out

                                    

                                          
Josephine 
With my body sore and tight, my mind on autopilot, I get out of bed to use the bathroom. I haven't left my bed. Only when mother nature calls. 
Anya and Candy are rotating in checking up on me, making sure I'm eating and drinking. 
They try to get me to talk but all I can manage are a few words at a time. 
Nicole and Izzy came over once this week but I refused to see them. I don't want them to see how weak I am. 
Nicole came over the day after that alone and she didn't go until I came out of my room to see her. And the second I did, the tears started flowing down my cheeks freely. Like they've been doing this past week since Leo's gone. 
I shouldn't say 'gone' like he's dead. But my heart hurts as if he is. 
Nicole told me he'll be back before I know it. But her words didn't sound so convincing. She invited me to dinner at Leo's parents' but I declined that invitation. How can I go there when he isn't here? 
"Jojo." Candy's voice enters my ears I stare numbly at my front door, hoping to see Leo's frame opening it. "I'm going to get us some groceries from down the street, I'll be right back." 
"Okay." My voice sounds strange to my ears. 
She hesitates for a moment before giving my hand a squeeze and closing the door shut behind her. 
After ten minutes, a knock sounds at the door and my heart jumps out of it's cage. 
Leo. 
I know it's not Candy as she has a key, so I run and whip the door open only to get disappointed when I see it's Roman. 
"What do you want?" I ask coldly.
 He doesn't answer me, but pushes past me to enter. Closing the door, I stay close it it and cross my arms defensively across my chest as his eyes take me in. 
I'm wearing Leo's shirt and some pyjama shorts. I haven't showered in a few days. I look like a mess but I don't care. 
His eyes are filled with pity and smugness. 
"Josie." He sighs and scratches his beard. "I hate to say this but, I told you this would happen." 
I narrow my eyes at him. "I don't need your pity." 
"I'm not pitying you, Jo. I'm only looking out for you." 
I laugh but it lacks any humour. "You've got to be fucking kidding me?" I mumble. "I don't need you, or anyone, to 'look out for me.'"   
"Ma said you've been screening her calls and won't let her see you." 
I don't bother answering. 
"I told you he was bad news. Look at you," he gestures to my attire and dark circles under my eyes. "You look like a zombie."
"Thanks." I roll my eyes. 
"I told you he'd do this. Leave you and break your heart." 
"He didn't do this on purpose." I defend him. 
"On purpose or not, he still left and look at you. You haven't showered in days, you reek and you've lost weight in one week. Imagine what will happen to you when he doesn't come back in a week, a month, a year. Hell, ever!" 
I glower at him. "He's coming back." 
But each time I say that, I believe it less. 
"You never listen, Jo." He says. "I know what I'm doing, and when I told you he's not goof for you, you should've listened to me." 
"Are you serious right now?" I ask. He came here to throw the fact around that he was right? 
"Yes." 
"Oh, my fucking god." I mumble to myself. I can't believe him. 
"He's bad influence on you. You never swore." 
"Me swearing has nothing to do with him and everything to do with the fact that you came here to gloat. Not to check on me, see how I'm doing. You say you're looking out for me, but all you care about is your fucking pride!" 
"There's no need to throw a fit just because I'm right." He has the nerve to glare at me. 
Pinching my nose, I grab the door handle and open it wide. "Get out." 
"What?"
"I said get out of my apartment. I don't wanna see you anymore."
"You're kicking me out?" 
"That's exactly what I'm doing." I look him straight in the eyes as I motion with my hand for him to get the fuck out of my sight. 
"You're kicking your brother out just because of him?" 
"Yes." I nod, done with his shit. "I don't wanna see you or hear your voice anymore."
He looks at me for a long moment before he walks to the threshold and stands there, thinking I'll tell him I didn't mean it. 
"And tell mama, papa and the rest not to call me or visit me." I tell him. "I'll go see them when I feel like it." 
I know they have nothing to do with this but I can't chance of accidentally seeing Roman there since he still lives with our parents. 
He shakes his head and wordlessly exists my place. I close the door and sink down on the floor, a new wave of tears gliding down my cheeks. 
A minute later the door opens and Candy crouches next to me, engulfing me in a tight hug. "I saw Roman leaving...let it out, babe. Let it out."
Maybe Roman is right. Maybe I should've walked the other way when I had the chance.