Chairman the Repairman

                                    

                                          
"Make way, everybody, make way!" Kurumi and Miiko shouted, banging wooden spoons on a pot and pan respectively as they paraded across Arisugawa grounds. "Everybody, make way for the academy's new Chairman!"
"Kurumi! Miiko!" Haruna scolded, hands on her hips and a glare on her face. "Where did you get those?!"
"The kitchens, duh," Kurumi smirked.
"That wasn't what I meant." Haruna grit her teeth.
"You should be thankful, Chairman, we're just trying to make sure the whole school knows of your accomplishment!" Miiko teased.
"They had an announcement this morning," Haruna deadpanned. "Besides, with all the racket you're making, I bet the whole country knows!"
"Good! The more the merrier!" Kurumi chirped, then she went back to banging the spoon on the pot. Haruna sighed and rolled her eyes.
Are they TRYING to put me to the test?
"Lord give me patience," she prayed.
"Don't you mean Lord give you strength?" Miyu asked, having watched the entire scene trying to keep her laughter at bay.
"If He gave me strength, well, let's just say it wouldn't end well for those two," Haruna replied grimly. I'd rather not commit the sin of murder.
"Oh Haruna," a laugh finally slipped from Miyu. "They're just having fun!"
"You really need to stop supporting their tomfoolery," Haruna sighed, but the barest of smiles quirked at her lips, too. Miyu had such a nice laugh...
Kurumi and Miiko continued to parade Haruna around campus until they reached a small booth near the front door of the academy.
"What's this?" Haruna asked, noting that there was a sign on the front that read: "Open For Business: Chairman".
"What does it look like, silly?" Miiko teased. "It's a booth Kurumi and I made for you!"
"For...?"
"Business, of course! Just like it says on the sign!"
"...I'm sorry, I still don't follow."
"We decided to make it so you can more easily take requests and complaints from your people," Kurumi teased, walking behind the booth and pulling out a suggestion/help box and a complaint jar.
"S-seriously?" Haruna gave the booth a deadpan expression before slapping her forehead in disbelief.
"Aww, I think it's cute!" Miyu clasped her hands together, smiling and tilting her head.
"Yep, and now, Chairman, is your first day in business!" Kurumi grabbed Haruna's left arm while Miiko grabbed her right.
"Hey! Not so hard!" Haruna complained as they dragged her by the booth. She felt like a complete and utter idiot, but with Miyu watching, smiling and laughing, she decided she would tolerate it for at least a little while...Kurumi and Miiko stayed by her side the entire time.
"You two can leave now," Haruna grunted.
"We're your official bodyguards!" Miiko replied excitedly, then she and Kurumi raised their pot and pan as shields, and the spoons as swords. Haruna slapped her forehead again. She didn't know whether to be touched or embarrassed...
Since none of them could stay at the booth the entire day, they had class after all, Haruna eventually relocated the suggestion/help box and complaint jar to the Disciplinary Committee office, placing a desk just outside the door with the box and jar on it for people to stick slips of paper into as they passed by. She was surprised to see how many requests the box had in it.
"My desk is broken!" "The seats in the cafeteria are wobbly." "My swivel chair in my dorm room isn't swiveling anymore!" "I think some of the seats in the auditorium have a few screws loose, they aren't opening and closing the way they're supposed to." "My sofa's cushions are torn!" "There's a large stain on my couch and I don't know what it's from." "Some of the stools in the art room are either missing seats or legs, or the legs aren't quite even, making them unbalanced."
They were the strangest requests Haruna had ever seen, the very last she expected now that she was Chairman of the Disciplinary Committee. Was this something her predecessor ever had to do, deal in maintenance? She couldn't recall...
"Oh well, I can put in tickets and make calls tomorrow," she shrugged, tossing the papers back into the box before collapsing into bed.
The next morning, one of the nuns instructed her to head to the storage room on campus, she already had a workload piled up there.
"The storage room?" Haruna was surprised, but she shrugged it off to go do as the nun told her. "What the—?!" she squawked once she stepped inside. Everywhere she looked, there were seats and chairs and chairs and seats. Where was her workload? Surely this wasn't it?!
"Kurumi?! Is this some kind of prank?!" she hollered into the darkness, certain that Kurumi was responsible.
"No, it's just your first load of requests," Kurumi replied from behind her, having hid out by the storage room door, waiting for Haruna to go in.
"But I don't do maintenance!" Haruna protested. There had to be some mix-up here!
"They're chairs, Chairman," Kurumi smirked. Then it hit Haruna like a brick. Or a chair.
"...That's...not how this works. That's not how any of this works!"
"Tell that to most of the students of this academy!"
"You put them up to it, didn't you?!"
"Sheesh, Chairman, always so suspicious of me, aren't you?"
"Kurumi!"
"Ok, fine, yes, it was me. I told them if they had any chair problems to bring them to you, Chairman the Repairman!"
"Chairman the—KURUMI!"
Outside, a large truck made a shipment of other broken chairs. Somehow, Kurumi's word spread beyond the academy gates. They came in all shapes, sizes, parts, and pieces, sustaining every type of damage one could think of. One in particular look as if it had been burnt nearly to a crisp, even! There was a note taped to it, apologizing for a... technical malfunction, signed by Rika Seto.
"She doesn't even go here!" Haruna cried.
"Well, Chairman, sure looks like you've got your work cut out for you today," Kurumi couldn't stifle a giggle, Haruna was seething.
"KURUMI!"
"Want me to get your toolkit?"
"KURUMI!"
"I'll take that as a yes!" And before Haruna could say anything else, Kurumi went sprinting away, laughing the whole time.
AN: For Penguinfangirl611, thanks for this horrible, wonderful crack idea! Chairman the Repairman is better than Bob the Builder. Also, I imagine this in the same chaotic style as Petite Mix, if anyone cares to envision this story in THAT art style. You're welcome. LOL!