.nine.

                                    

                                          
asher walked off of the balcony and back downstairs leaving me and my thoughts alone on the balcony. i didn't even know this asher kid and suddenly he is showing up in my life left and right. i then looked down and saw lizzie motioning me to come downstairs. i grabbed my bag and walked down past the kitchen and outside by the pool. it seemed like everyone was out here.  asher was over in the corner sitting on some chairs. some random kid came up behind me. i turned around and noticed that it was some kid named noah in my grade. i never really talked to him but he is known as a douche. "EVERYBODY JUMP IN!" noah screamed. 
he jumped in past me but i lost my balance and fell in the pool screaming as i hit the water. i didn't have time to breathe before somebody's body landed on top of me and before i knew it i was at the bottom of the pool. the little air in my lungs felt like it was escaping as i tried to swim to the top avoiding people jumping in. once i made it to the top i started breathing very heavily. i felt hands grab onto my arms and lift me out of the water. it was asher i could already tell by the tattoos on his wrists leading up to his arms. "are you alright? are you hurt?" "yeah i'm-" i could barely get anything out of my mouth before some girl interrupted me. "oh ashy who is this girl you are all over? much uglier than me. such a pity that you seemed to leave me for her. a huge downgrade if i say so myself." a couple people started laughing until asher gave them a look and they shut up. "and who are you?" i said in a sassy tone crossing my arms. "ashers ex girlfriend. well not for long. asher hunny why are you with this girl. she has WAY too much meat on those bones. starts to look unpleasant." i jerked away from ashers grasp and stormed into the house. i locked myself in a random bathroom. i could hear asher's voice screaming something but i didn't care to listen to what he said. i layed on the floor and pulled out my bag with the pills i had left. 15 pills left in the bottle. i swallowed them all. i started to cry and before i knew it i was smoking some weed and as high as a cloud. the house was huge so when i heard a knock on the door i knew it was asher and that it took him forever to find me. "alicia open the door i know you are in there." asher said out to me. no response. "alicia please open the door and talk to me. i'll take you home or better yet you can stay at my place." no response. i felt like i couldn't respond better yet i didn't know how. he started pounding on the door. his voice getting a little panicked. "open the fucking door alicia i'm not playing around. he most likely heard the click of the door unlocking and slammed the door open. he closed it again without saying a word and sat down. i didn't look him in the eyes. "alicia look at me." i stared at the wall in front of me. he grabbed my face to make me look at him. "holy shit how much did you smoke. " too much." i said in a weird way. he was looking around and i know he could see the bottle sitting out of my bag. "fuck alicia how many pills did you take." he asked taking out the bottle from my bag. "idk probably 20" i said struggling to stand up. once i finally did i held onto the sink. asher got up as well. "alicia talk to me what is wrong." no response. "if it's about what that son of a bitch said i told her off. you aren't fat at all. honestly you look more in shape then most girls i know and i'm not just saying that. it looks like you workout. you are more in shape then her." i didn't believe a word he said. i could feel his eyes on me and i could feel tears rolling down my cheeks. my eyes stinged and my breath smelled of alcohol. asher grabbed my face and wiped my tears off before he took me into a hug. " i whispered a soft and sweet. "thank you."
i fell asleep in asher car and as soon as i knew it i was getting lifted out of it and into asher's clean house. he gave me some clothes to change into and then i was laying in his bed. he came into the room and sat beside me . i was wearing shorts so you could see my scars they were very faint but i know asher could tell. he looked up at me and i looked at him. i could see the sadness he felt for me in his eyes. he acted tough but he was such a softie. "okay alicia you need to tell me what's going on." i turned over facing away from him. "i'm not kidding. tell me right now." it felt like an hour went by until i finally said. "i've had image problems my whole life. i was either always the fat kid or i would starve myself and then i was super skinny and now i'm a comfortable weight and it's still not enough. i'm so sick of not being enough for this world and for the people around me." he stayed silent for a minute until i felt a hand on my thigh i flinched a little but didn't protest. "i think you and your scars are beautiful." he said before turning over, turning off the lights and falling asleep.