Chapter 10

                                    

                                          
A/N
Story up till now: Nikita finds out from her mother that she was responsible for the fire at Meridian Manor.
☆☆☆

"This was a mistake."
"Fine. Don't believe me, dear. After all, I'm just a crazy woman."
"This was a mistake. I- I-"
Nikita's knees buckled. She didn't care that she was crouching over the dirty floor, her robes sweeping up dust. The weight of the accusation, the potential truth, hollowed out all the self-pity she'd been harboring. Nikita deserved to be locked up. She had murdered those people. There was no monster but herself.
"This isn't funny mother. Are you lying to me?"
"I may be a lot of things- but never a liar."
"Then tell me. What in the name of the seven realms are you?"
"I'm your mother."
"NO! Enough of that. Enough riddles and bullshit. I need to know who you are. Who I am. If- If I really killed those people."
"That doesn't matter."
Nikita entertained the possibility. What if she really was responsible for the fire.
Well, she did want to learn who looked back at her from the mirror. Now she had her answers. The flames began tickling her skin again. A spear of loathing pierced her. All that time, she'd let herself fool around. She'd given herself the luxury of being the victim when she was the villain.
"I need to let everyone know." Nikita finally mustered up. Even if there was a possibility it was her she needed to be contained. Her voice was steady, betraying the storm of emotions brewing inside her. She severed them, shut them out, and locked them inside an iron fortress lost in the landscape of her mind.
The number she felt, the easier control became. The flames subsided.
"And what will you say exactly?" Her mother smiled. The lines under the eyes were etched deep; as if carved there by an unforgiving hand. "What proof do you have to convince the masses that it was you, a seventeen-year-old acolyte, that committed murder when she was five? Don't be ridiculous, sweet. If you think I allowed myself to rot in here for nearly a decade just to get you thrown in-
I'm clearly not the insane one."
"I didn't ask for you to cover up for me."
"Oh, how precious. Such a conscience is futile darling. Creatures like us weren't meant for caring. I mean, look where it got me."
"Creatures like us?"
Her mother smiled, her eyes revealing nothing.
"Do us all a favor and cut the drama." She yawned. "My naptime's past."
"You can't do this to me!"
"And what precisely, am I doing?"
The door cracked open. Lucia stepped in, her pale face flushed and eyes drawn wide. She looked around frantically, a bucket of water in her arms.
"I saw smoke," she said.  Her voice was scratchy from disuse. It was the first time Nikita had heard her speak. Lucia scanned the room again, her grip on the pail relaxing upon the realization that the room was not ablaze. She fixed her steely grey eyes on Nikita, her lips pursued in a taut line. Nikita knew what she was saying without words; she had exhausted visitation hours and it was time for her to get out.
"Lucia dearie. Nikita here has a confession to make. Go ahead sweet."
Nikita's throat was dry. She swallowed. "I did it. I- I was the one who set Meridian Manor on fire all those years ago."
Lucia spared her no response other than a raised eyebrow. Her gaze flitted back and forth, landing skeptically from her to her mother. She sighed.
"You need to believe me. I'm not leaving here." Nikita hated this. It was taking her so much effort to confess to it and her words were given as much importance as her Mother's crazy rantings.
"I think it'd be best if you vacate the premises," Lucia said. Her voice was soft yet firm. The underlying meaning was clear. Nikita was overstepping boundaries.
"You don't believe me?"
Lucia pursued her lips. That was a no.
Nikita needed to be punished. If Lucia didn't believe her, she'd prove that she was the real villain. For once, she envisioned shifting the steel veil in her mind instead of enforcing it. The monster pounced like a maddened hound, lapping at Nikita's heels.
She loosened the leash, hoping it wouldn't snap.
"I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Lucia repeated, every word enunciated carefully. This was a final request. 
The shadows sprung from Nikita's arms.
Lucia blinked, surprised for just a second. Then her pallid expression returned, and she fixed her steely eyes on Nikita. 
"What is that supposed to achieve dear," Aldaine giggled. "Lucia and I have come to a little agreement, have we not?"
Lucia remained silent.
"Well, since our little Silver-Blood friend here is shy, let me fill you in. She turns a blind eye on you, I allow her to be something more than a vegetable."
Nikita had stopped listening at some point. She was exhausted, her brain hadn't caught up with half of what was happening. All she knew was that she was potentially responsible for murder and exposing herself for who she was, was supposed to make things right. 
"A vegetable?" she repeated, her voice bland. She felt vulnerable and foolish, standing there with her flames tickling her skin. 
"A vegetable," her mother confirmed cheerily. "Lucia's spine is broken, irreparable. She can never walk again and all that ominous stuff. That was up until our little bargain, right luce?"
Lucia remained silent, her eyes hard.
"Nikita, why don't you run along and stop being a drama queen. Mess around, and have fun. Forget this nonsense." She stared pointedly at the research clutched in Nikita's hands. 
"I'll just find someone who believes me," Nikita said, more to herself than anyone else.
"You were a child. It was an accident.  You didn't have control over what you were. In the name of the seven realms- I still don't know what you are. You tell anyone in this town full of superstitious fools and they'll burn you alive or turn you over to the king."
Lucia served the King's army and she'd ended up paralyzed and discarded. If Nikita were to be weaponized, more innocent people would perish by her hand. Her bloodstained hands. It was the last thing she wanted. 
Her mother smiled, her form shifting to reveal the creature she truly was; dark eyes, glistening teeth, spindly arms, and blistered skin. 
"I'm doing this because I love you. It's ok if you don't feel the same, sweet. Just keep yourself out of trouble."
Nikita understood what those emerald eyes were saying. It's okay if you don't end up like me. I'll still love you.
The last of the flames licking her skin died down. Nikita bunched up her robes, gathered her research, and walked out of the room in silence.