Chapter 2

                                    

                                          
Taehyung's POV-
My eyes are on Jimin as soon as we're done dancing, obviously.
Obviously because my eyes are always on him. Watching him laugh. Watching him hold back tears. Watching him love someone else. Wishing his heart wouldn't always be broken. Wishing Jungkook was me, because I could treat him better.
I watch him bend over and take deep breaths, already making my way across the large space between us to him, planning on making sure he's okay and drinking water as he should.
He straightens up, and his body spasms and pain tears across his facial features. He drops to his knees.
"Jimin!" I shout, it's like I can't run fast enough, but my focus is only on him as a long agonized noise leaves him.
Jungkook is the first to reach him and even though it's wrong, I feel a sharp pang of jealousy. This isn't the time to wish Jungkook was me. Why am I so selfish?
Jungkook drops to his knees in front of Jimin, "Jimin-ah. Look at me, okay? Are you okay?"
Jimin is panting as his eyes settle into Jungkook's. "Jungkookie?"
"Yeah, it's me," Jungkook says softly, pushing Jimin's dark hair out of his eyes.
"It—it hurts."
"What hurts? Jimin, look at me."
Jimin's eyes go dazed and then roll to the back of his head.
He collapses.
-
"When's the last time you ate something, Jimin?" The medic asks, sliding an IV into Jimin's arm.
They told us that only two were allowed in the room, so Hoseok and I stayed because Jin hyung said Jimin was the closest to the two of us. I know Jimin and Jin extremely close also, but I think Jin wanted to stay and comfort the others. I'm trying not to think about how Jungkook almost refused to leave until he saw that Jimin's vitals were working. Acting like he cared.
"I, ah, don't remember. I think it was a bite of Taetae's noodles a few days ago." Jimin says, wincing a little.
I think about it and my eyes well up with tears. "Jimin, that was almost two weeks ago."
"Was it?" Jimin says flatly, picking at his nails.
"And before that?" the doctor says.
"I don't know, a while ago. I'm dieting, and I was about to stop as soon as we got all these music videos and pictures taken. I drink water though, so I don't know why my body is acting up."
"You are only supposed to water diet for three or four days, okay? I would recommend taking a break from dieting. Start slow, and develop healthy eating cycles. You need to stay here for a few days." The doctor gets up and leaves the room.
"Jimin, I get that you are trying to diet, but there is a difference between watching your food and starving yourself." I say quietly. I don't think my voice can go over a whisper; my chest feels like someone has jabbed a giant hole in it.
"I'm not deliberately starving myself." Jimin argues, but he meets eyes with no one. "I want to look better, yes, but it's mostly about having to practice and stuff. I just— I don't have time—"
"You don't have time to eat? That is a lie, Jimin. You choose not to eat with us." Hoseok says. I think it's the hardest voice he's ever used with Jimin.
"Because I'm trying to get the choreography down!"
"That is no excuse, Jimin!" Hobi shouts. "You had the choreography perfect three days ago! I told you that! You have been starving yourself, and we've all noticed it, but you swore to us that you had it under control! You promised us that you would eat when you were done, Jimin! This is unexceptable! You are working yourself entirely too hard! Why—!"
Jimin bursts into tears and my heart breaks.
"I'm sorry!" he sobs. "I just wanted to be perfect, hyung! Like the rest of you! I didn't want to be fat and unwanted!"
Hobi's air whooshes out of him as if someone hit him. He comes across the room to sit on the hospital bed with Jimin.
"Jimin," Hobi takes Jimin's beautiful, cry swollen face in his hands and wipes his tears with his thumbs. "Look at me. We are not perfect. If anyone were perfect, it would be you. Bangtan is not Bangtan without you. You are remarkable, Jimin. You are not fat or unwanted. You are gorgeous and needed, okay?"
Jimin doesn't answer. He stares into Hoseok's eyes as if he's searching for something, and Hobi lets him, not looking away from Jimin's eyes even for a split second.. "Do you understand me, Jimin?"
Jimin nods and Hoseok pulls him into a hug, whispering to him until Jimin cries himself to sleep.
Only when Jimin's whimpers fade into deep, even breathing and his face is peaceful but exhausted, does Hoseok let his emotions show. He holds Jimin's small body with one arm, and the other hand covers his face as he breaks down in tears.
I cross the room and take Jimin from Hobi's arms. Careful of the IV, I lay him gently on the bed and pull the blanket up over him, kissing his forehead softly.
Hoseok immediately hugs me back when I wrap my arms around him. Pressing his face into my shoulder, he lets me hold him as he cries.
We stay like that for a while. Taking strength from each other.
-
Jimin was slightly different when he got out of the hospital.
He only talked to Hobi hyung for the first few weeks that he was home, and I tried not to let that bother me too much. He ate with everyone else, but he stayed right next to Hoseok, mostly turning toward him and speaking with him quietly.
He hugged Hobi all the time, and Hobi didn't mind. He didn't shove him away, and never told Jimin to go away. I assume that's what Jimin needed.
Because one day he decided to start helping Jin hyung cook, and then a few days later he was sort of back to normal.
Sort of, because normal Jimin was always with Jungkook. Trying to make him laugh, giving him hugs, watching videos with him; name it, and Jimin was always with Jungkook.
However, it's as if Jungkook doesn't even exist to him.
Jimin completely ignores him, unless he absolutely has to talk to him. Even then, Jimin's eyes stay fixed on something else as he talks to Jungkook.
When Jimin told me that he was giving up on Jungkook, I felt horrible, but I couldn't bring myself to believe him. He'd tried so many times before that, but it was like as soon as Jimin pulled away, Jungkook would sense it and get him back. Only to push Jimin away again when Jimin runs back to him.
Jungkook gets shut down every time he tries to tease or joke with Jimin, and Jimin goes out of his way to avoid seeing Jungkook at all.
And I can see that it is really bothering Jungkook. Is he realizing what he's lost when it is already too late for him?
A/N: Okay, so how was chapter two? I know this seems angsty, but I swear things will start to look up... Feel free to comment, and let me know if there are any mistakes I missed. Thanks for reading:)