fantasy 3# pt.1

                                    

                                          
Tw: self hate, doubting, anxiety


2:00 am
I looked up from my phone towards the road ahead of me.
I should be home in 20 minutes and I'm not even close to our apartment.
Running isn't even an option, She's going to be mad for sure.
Let's hope for the best but knowing that I've been behaving like A brat for the whole day already I'm not sure of how much hope I still have left.
3:40 am
Finally I could see our building, as my friend is still mumbling something about having fun tonight and to be safe we came to a stop infront of the building. After saying goodnight to my friend I walk up to the front and open the door with my key.
Having to be quiet for our neighbourghs I quietly walk towards the elevator.
...
Clicking on the button of the seventh floor I suddenly feel a wave of anxiety hit me right in the stomach or maybe it were the one too many drinks I had tonight.
I walk up to our front door step and fumble with my keys to find the right one even though I feel like the whole room is spinning.
The key slid right into the hole but the door abruptly opened on itself or so I thought because on the other side is my girlfriend standing there in her beautiful nightgown looking so done with my bs.
"inside now." she says rather firm than concerned or angry, she just sounds like she does when she comes home from a whole day of work where one of her bosses were agravating her for the whole day.
I take of my shoes and walk towards her my arms wrapping around her shoulders, " are you mad at me? please don't be mad mistress, I really tried to be on time but I-I lost track of time and forgot what we agreed o-on and and- I don't know okay? can you please let me of for today? I'm sorry..." I felt so guilty for making her worried like that.
Mu's p.o.v.
"Darling?" Mu said
"yes...mistress?" I closed my eyes at the name, feeling my insides tingle at the feeling of being adressed by her like that. My breath hitched at the thought of the other times when she called me mistress.
"I was very worried about you and I would've liked it if next time that you would be late like this again that you would atleast let me know where you are or if you're going to be late. You know very well that I would be willing to pick you up anywhere anytime and wouldn't mind it at all"
Her gaze was now casted down on the ground after releasing me from her grip, I wanted her to be looking at me again because I know Alex can't express herself as good as I can in words and just by looking at her I can atleast tell a little what she's thinking.
This is also why we agreed on different ways for expressing safe words and communicating with eachother while in various situations which occur in our daily life.
I lifted her chin with my hand, "Darling? you have to know that I'm not mad at you but you know this can't go without your punishment right?" her breath hitched a little at the realization looking up at me with her puppy dog eyes asking me to have mercy on her for today and go soft on her ass.
Alex's p.o.v.
Knowing that I can say my safeword anytime I didn't feel scared just a little dissapointed in myself that I wasn't at my best behaviour which is why I have to get punished.
"Darling?" "yes" "Are you feeling alright?" I din't answer her question suddenly feeling empty inside all of a sudden not knowing what came over me, just wanting to be in bed and be wrapped in my Dom's arms instead.
My chin got lifted and made look her in the eyes, feeling tears rolling down my cheeks, "Princess, tell me what you're feeling right now and be honest about it, do not lie to me."  "My heart feels empty and I just t-to lay cuddled up in bed with you right now, I'm so sorry I was a bad girl to you I was dissobedient and made you worry about me...I promise to be on time when I go out again, Mistress" I said looking away not wanting to see the dissapointment in her eyes as I told her what I was feeling.
Mistress doesn't like it when I doubt myself or my thoughts.
Tears fell faster from my eyes with all of my bad thoughts flouding in in my head, each being worse than the one before that. getting caught up in my thought and not paying attention to my surroundings anymore. My breath growing heavier.
Mu's p.o.v.
seeing my baby lose herself in thoughts and self-hate I pulled her closer and stroked her hair out of her face, feeling alex shivering like this made me feel overprotective over her like I need to protect her from anything that could possibly hurt my baby, which in this case would be me




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 hope you liked the first chapter of whatever name you want to call it and I hope to see in part 2 (only if you want to)

Bye :)