Chapter 14: Act 2 scene 2

                                    

                                          
Underlined = out of play
Italics and bold.= action in play  
Centre and italics = Singing. 
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Spot light up on Robin who bounces into action upstage. 
Rachel Dawes: Help, help! Somebody help me! 
Robin:  I know that sound all too well. That’s the sound of an innocent soul falling  victim to the world’s injustice. Well, it’s time for the Robin to swoop in. Grayson-Dive! 
Exit Robin. Lights up down stage. Enter Rachel Dawes stage right, panicking 
Rachel Dawes: Help, help! Somebody help me! 
Re-enter Robin downstage left 
Robin: Miss Rachel Dawes of the D.A.’s office? Well, don’t worry I’m here to help. 
Rachel Dawes: Oh, well thank God! 
She spins around and notices Robin 
Rachel Dawes: Oh, Robin…great I  wanted help not a baby-sitting gig. Just when I though this mugging couldn’t get any worse. 
"Hey I'm as good as a fighter as batman.!" 
Enter Gangster; weapon in hand 
Robin:  Get behind me! Stand down, criminal or I’ll be forced to use force. 
Gangster begins to feel very ill so Robin stands down 
Robin: Good heavens sir, you look ill. 
Gangster collapses 
Robin:  Oh my! Heavens to Betsy! This man needs a doctor, he needs to go to the hospital so he can go to jail. 
Gangster: D-d-da boss said the pain would go away, and dat my tum tum wouldn’t  hurt…no MORE! 
Robin: What’s the matter with your tum tum? 
Jason bursts out laughing "Wait until Roy hears about all this" 
Gangster:  IT’S FREAKIN’ UPSET! Da boss…he mates me eat… 
Gangster begins to spasm uncontrollably 
"Oh shi-" 
"JASON" 
Robin: What? What did he make you eat? 
Gangster: P-p-pop-rocks…and a c-c-cocah-Colaa… 
Robin: Pop-Rocks and a Coke!? 
Gangster begins to explode. Robin pushes him off stage and gestures to Miss Dawes to: 
Robin: GET DOWN! 
BOOM! Black out. Hysterical laughter. Lights up on Sweet Tooth upstage 
Sweet Tooth: I always like to enter on a BANG! 
Robin: Who are you? 
Sweet Tooth: Me? Why I’m the one who’s been feeding Gotham’s craving for chaos. Haven’t you and Batman enjoyed my latest batch, M&Ms. Murder and Mayhem; there they are! 
Robin: Gotham City still has a sweet tooth? 
Sweet Tooth: That’s me. 
Robin: And you’re the one behind all the new villains in town!
Sweet Tooth: Well, aren’t you a SMARTIE! 
Robin reaches for the smarties
 
"Oh everyone is dumb in this including Dick" Tim said 
Robin:  Oh, I like these! 
Robin passes them to Miss Dawes who begins to eat them 
"No don't do that.!! why am I an idiot in this" 
"You’re an idiot all the time greyson" 
"Be nice Damian" 
Robin:  Oh! Well your sugar high is over Sweet Tooth, and you’re right about to crash into Arkham Asylum, that is. 
Sweet Tooth:  Oh! You’re the one who is nutty if you think I’m the one  who is going to the nut house, my ALMOND JOY Wonder. 
Robin: Ughh… I don’t like these. 
Sweet Tooth: Well perhaps you’ll enjoy my next batch… Get’em my Sour Patch Kids! 
Enter Joe and Gob. Joe is pointing a bazooka  at Robin 
Joe: Bout time we candy-coat this Robin’s breast red! 
Gob: We’re gonna tear out your Jelly-Belly. 
Robin: Miss Dawes, go! I’ll take care of the Lollipop Guild. 
Rachel Dawes: Thanks Robin. Hey, now I feel bad for thinking you suck. 
Robin: Just go! 
Sweet Tooth: Oh, you’re not going anywhere Miss Dawes. GOBSTOPPER! 
Gob approaches Robin in hand-to-hand combat 
Robin: I’m sorry Gob, but I’m the only jaw breaker around here! 
Robin punches Gob in the face. 
Sweet Tooth: Ugh! Do I have to do everything myself?! Hand me my bazooka, Joe… NOW, GODAMMIT! 
Sweet Tooth grabs the bazooka and shoots Miss Dawes 
Rachel Dawes: No! That bazooka is shooting me with Bubble-Gum. Mmmmm…I can’t move ‘em. They’re wrapped in Bubblicious. 
Rachel Dawes begins to chew on the gum 
Robin: Miss Dawes! And I thought I was a Gum-Shoe! 
Enter Candy 
Candy: Now that’s what I call a sticky situation, huh, S.T.? 
Sweet Tooth: Oh, you said it Candy! Well, what do you think Robin? Doesn’t Candy here look  good enough to eat? She’s my little SUGAR BABY! 
Candy: Yeah, and he’s my SWEETART! 
Sweet Tooth: I’M THE ONE WHO MAKES THE CANDY PUNS AROUND HERE! GOT IT!? 
Sweet Tooth bitch-slaps Candy who instantly falls to the ground..Robin comes to Candy's rescue 
"So those two are the new Joker and Harley of Gotham? got it" 
Robin:  Oh, miss…miss, did he hurt you? 
Candy gently rises 
Candy: No. It felt like…a KISS 
Robin: Kiss…what could it mean…? 
Candy: Take this, bird boy! 
Candy stabs Robin with a piece of candy 
Robin:  Nooooo!!! 
Candy: So, what do you say S.T.? Shall we kill him NOWorLATER? 
Sweet Tooth: No, no, no…I have plans for this little CHICLET… TAKE5 boys, we got a  long night ahead of us! Candy, be a DOVE and tell my tropes to advance on Gotham Square. 
Joe and Gob drag Robin off stage 
Sweet tooth:  Get ready my darling-diluted-Dark-Knight, it’s a gonna be HOTTAMALES in the old town tonight! 
Sweet Tooth and Candy laugh hysterically. Black out. 
"Oh wow everyone is really dumb in this" Tim mumbled making notes on his hand with a pen he found.  "I hope Robin will be ok" Dick said quickly.   Jason rolls his eyes and says "am I the only one who thought Candy was hot"  only to be told off by Bruce. Damian just stared at the screen.