Chapter 25

                                    

                                          
The sounds were loud. The explosions rocked the foundation of the mountains. Carson closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. People cheered at the deaths of others. It didn't make sense to her. "You okay?" The question came from Gale.
She glanced at him. A moment ago, he was with Katniss. "We should have another way to do this. People are dying." Gale had a perplexed look on his face. He was staring at her as if she was crazy. "What?"
"I thought if anyone would agree with this plan, it would be you."
That confused her. "Why would I agree with this? People are dying-"
"And you care about their lives now?" She was shocked by his words. "Honestly, I've never taken you as someone who cares about the lives of others." 
"What?" Carson whispered. The words hurt her. Was that really how she came across to others? As some heatless monster? 
Gale rubbed his jaw. "All I'm saying, we're a war. Sometimes, hard choices have to be made."
She blinked a few times, unable to continue with the conversation. "Excuse me." Quickly, she walked away. The others were cheering as explosions continued to happen.
It wouldn't be long before the group entered the tunnels, but Carson felt as if she couldn't breathe. Being seen as heartless and uncaring hurt, but the sounds of cheering remind her too much of the Capitol. She remembered the crowd cheering during her interviews with Ceasar. How much she hated the sound of cheering.
She slipped between the walls of the building. It was not overly dark, but it was far enough away that she felt safe. Carson fell to the ground, her back resting against the wall as a few tears streamed down her cheeks. The memories of her life flashed in her mind. All the bad that led her to this point. Everything she had done to make her who she was today. It was unfair of Gale to think she didn't care about others simply because life dealt her a bad hand. It wasn't her fault she was picked for the Hunger Games.
None of what happened was her fault. Carson wasn't heartless. She cared about others. She just struggled to show it. Emotions and communication did not come easy for her, but that didn't mean she didn't care. She cared a lot. 
Suddenly, someone sat down beside her. She felt their shoulder against hers. Carson's eyes immediately opened. The person sitting beside her was Pollux. Concern was written across his features. "What happened?" He signed. "What's wrong?" The genuine concern wasn't a surprise, not anymore.
Usually, she would shut down around others. But she always felt safe around Pollux, as if she could talk to him about anything. It wasn't something she understood, but Carson realized she didn't have to. "Everyone thinks I'm some ruthless, emotionless monster." There were tears in her eyes.
A frown appeared on Pollux's face. "I don't," he signed factually.
Carson stared at him, her eyes flickering between his. "You don't?"
Pollux shook his head. "No." He never thought that. Slowly, he raised his hand, wiping her tears away. It was such a simple action, but Carson felt as if her heart had stopped beating.
The world around her faded. She could no longer hear the bombs going off or the cheering of others. It was just the two of them, tucked in shadows. That's when Carson felt the fear leave her entirely. She realized that tomorrow wasn't promised and that she had spent so much time being afraid of the world that all the good things passed her by. She wasn't willing to let this pass her by. 
Pollux's fingers glided over the skin on her cheek. The tears were gone, but he wasn't willing to pull away just yet. Carson stared at him, and he stared back, both of them unknowingly thinking the same thing.