Chapter Sixteen

                                    

                                          
Silence.
Why is it so silent?
Anguish flows through me as I clutch Eros's body in my fists, my face and hands covered in his blood. Pain reverberates through my chest, reaching to the edges of my soul. I rock against Eros, his body quickly turning cold against me. Sobs and screams fall from my mouth unencumbered; tears race rampant on their own down my unclean skin.
I am barely aware of the harsh words exchanged around me, or the scuffles of agitated, unsure feet. There is a collective breath being held in the sacred clearing, my sorrow on full display as the Angels around me await my reaction.
Perhaps it was foolish to believe we would go on forever. A young man's hope that his love would always be by his side. That his life's path was designed for both him and his love. Did we ever really live, knowing it would all restart? Perhaps our appreciation would have been fuller, had we only been given the one life together. 
The world is cold without the warmth of Eros' skin against mine. Cradling him in my arms, his weight becomes heavier the more I hold onto him. I will need to let him down and yet cannot bring myself to do so. I want to carve out a moment where he is looking at me with love in his eyes and a smile on his precious face. I want to stay in a moment like that, forever.
I look down at Eros' face, his lifeless eyes closed behind translucent eyelids. This is not my love. All soul has been drained from his face. Everything pure and beautiful about him has been stripped away. This is not him, not anymore.
The pain shifts. 
My fingernails cut into my skin, my body heats up uncontrollably and I look up fiercely. I find Azriel's eyes, his mouth tilted upwards in a victorious smirk. Impossibly, I manage to unwrap my arms from around Eros and stand slowly, all while glowering at Azriel.
I stalk over to where the Guardian's sword lays and bend to pick it up. Azriel's soldiers shuffle to watch my actions and intervene, but Luvenia, Onyx and Admodias are quick to block their path. Soren and Xander draw seraphs blades and stand beside them.
I reach Azriel and glare at Felio, "let him go."
Felio does as I demand, releasing Azriel from his tight grasp. Azriel chuckles and stands facing me. "You are ready to return and fight with us?" he asks confidently.
I squint at him, my gaze burning a fire I worry will become an uncontrollable blaze, unable to be tamed. "I will fight," I say through gritted teeth. "But not with you."
I step forward, swinging the blade in my right hand and slicing a cut along Azriel's bicep. Azriel stumbles backward at my assault, reaching down quickly and pulling out a second blade, smaller than the one now in my grasp. He blocks my second swing with the smaller blade, the clink of metal piercing my eardrums. I push him backwards, continuing my assaults and blocking his counterstrikes.
My initial attack appears to have started a fight between the opposing Angels, as more metal meeting in the still night air resonates in the clearing. I see movement in my peripheral vision, bodies and weapons clashing in a holy fight.
My feet shuffle expertly against the moss-covered earth, my training returning to my limbs like an old friend. Azriel appears dazed by my skill, his assuredness of my cooperation after Eros was...gone...crumbling before me.
"It doesn't have to be this way, Cassian. You can return. Return to the heavens, to your rightful place. You will forget all about the lowly angel."
His words do nothing but fuel the inferno burning within me and in one swift movement, I step to his side and slide my heavy blade through one of his wings. Azriel shouts out in pain, reaching around his shoulder and feeling the severed extremity. He stumbles backwards and falls to his knees. I stare him down and take another step forward.