Chapter fifteen

                                    

                                          
Elliott 
It's the night before the wedding. Jessie and the girls are with her sister and parents while mine were here with me and Sarah. I picked at my dinner, unable to eat without the kids and Jessie. I leave the table without a word, able to walk away without the need of crutches. 
I lean in the doorway to Macy's room and tears fill my eyes. Aside from my two hospital stays, I've never been apart from her, especially after Miranda died. I pick up the bear Miranda got her before she died and walk to Skye's room. I know we're not close at the beginning, but we've grown inseparable since the accident. I take the ratted stuffed dog that Melanie gave her at birth and head to my room.
I take off the walking boot and climb in on Jessie's side of the bed. I hug the stuffed toys to my chest and sink my face in her perfume coated pillow. I could feel sleep pulling me under and snuggle with Jessie's pillow the girls stuffed animals. As I continue to drift to sleep I hear someone enter, but don't open my eyes.
"She's asleep," I hear Sarah choke with relief. "She barely ate anything since you and the girls left...I'd say it's because she misses you and the girls. She's got their stuffed animals hugged to her chest...Yes I can make them in the morning...Good night Jessie."
I was shook awake, sweat pouring off me like I ran a marathon. My breaths were rapid and my body trembling. I look up at Sarah and she looks scared for me. I can see my parents were also in the room and my mother on the phone.
My mother comes over and hands me the phone. I hold it to my ear with shaky hands and Jessie's voice fills my ear. "Elliott, I'm okay. We're okay," she chokes in a soothing whisper. 
"It felt real, it all felt so real," I choke in broken sobs, rocking myself. "I killed her, but it felt real."
"I'm on my way..."
"No, I have this gut feeling of deja vu," I choke in a scared whisper. 
"I'll stay on the phone until you fall back to sleep," she says with understanding, knowing what I meant.
I let out a calming breath and lay back against the pillows and Sarah climbs in next to me. It didn't take long before I start falling asleep again. The phone slips from my hand and I feel someone take it. "She's asleep...I'll stay with her Jessie...See you in a few hours. Sorry we woke you," Sarah chokes quietly. 
I woke with Sarah on my chest the next morning. Our mother walks in and was relieved to see that I was calm and well rested. "I just got off the phone with Jessie, she wanted to know how the rest of your night went. She loves you Elliott," she says quietly with a smile. 
"I'm sorry if I scared you all last night," I choke quietly. "I don't sleep well alone."
"We realized that when you slept peacefully the rest of the night. You had three nightmares before Sarah was able to wake you," mom says softly kissing my forehead. She shakes Sarah's shoulder and her head pops up from my chest. "Breakfast is ready, come eat and then we can get ready for the wedding."
"I want to video call the kids first," I choke quietly. "Please?"
"Jessie said the girls were with her grandmother and she doesn't have a smartphone," my mother says with sympathy. 
I shake my head in disappointment and strap on my walking boot. I walk into my bathroom and close the door. I slip on the waterproof bag over my cast and undress for a shower. I scrub my face from the dried tear streaks and roughly run my hands in my hair.
I start sobbing softly and hear my bathroom door open. "I'm not hungry," I choke quietly, not bothering to turn to the door. "I just want to see my family."